Like a lot of things in life, pizza delivery is very simple on the surface: you bag the food, you deliver the food, you collect the money, you give the money to your boss & whatever's left over is for you. It's so simple that literally anyone with a license, car, insurance, and a clean driving record can do it. But only in theory...not in actuality. I do believe if you were to take only one delivery at a time, that probably anyone could do it in actuality too, but you don't make money that way, and the customers and your boss wouldn't be happy at all if you only took one delivery at a time. Only the one customer you delivered the food to would be happy. All the neglected ones would be highly upset with the whole restaurant.
By that logic, being an architect is very simple too: you get a ruler and some paper, draw some lines, roll the paper up, put it in a tube, and hand it someone and tell them to build it. Yes, it's a very good thing I'm not an architect! Or a doctor!! Oh man, that would be awful.
But as I've learned, there's a lot more that goes into things than outsiders often think of. I'll stick to pizza delivery since that's what I actually know. First off, there are generally several orders on top of the oven when you show up to work. It starts very simply: you check the tickets to see which one is the oldest time. Then you put it in a warming bag and check the other tickets to see which ones go the same direction. Still pretty easy, right? But that's actually when it starts getting complicated. How far away is your oldest time, and how long do you have to get there? What are road & traffic conditions like? How many other drivers are on shift at the moment? Will another driver be back shortly? Are there a lot more tickets on the rack that are coming, and are any almost done that are going your direction? Do you have a hotel, hospital, or office building delivery that's going to require extra time to get in and out of? What floor? Will you have to check and sign in with security? If you do, do you have time to drop your other deliveries first and come back and do the time-consuming one last?
Even all those questions aren't always easily answered. For instance, the question of how many drivers are on shift: you can't actually just count the heads of the fellow pizza dudes that are there, because it also depends on WHICH drivers are there. We have a couple of drivers that actually = 2 drivers (because they're overly greedy and drive too fast), and we have a couple of drivers that are the equivalent of only 1/2 of a driver (because they tend to take a very long time on their deliveries for whatever reason). We even have one driver that is equal to -1 of a driver, because he makes a number of mistakes that other drivers end up having to fix. You think I'm joking, don't you? I'm actually not. I, myself am the average 1 for a driver. So if we have a lot of deliveries on the oven and we're pressed for time, I'll have to stop and do some basic math: 1 + 2 + 1 + 1 - 1 + 2.= 6, we have 6 drivers on shift. Ask the cooks how many just left recently and get a rough idea of how many should be back approximately when. More math that I won't do here.
It's been my experience that it takes a certain type of brain to make a really good pizza driver...I suspect a very visual one. It goes without saying, of course, that one has to have a good understanding of the layout and numbering system of the city...but even with that knowledge it requires the ability to visualize possible routes you might take given a number of factors. Even some that are unpredictable.
Some types seem completely incapable of doing it. I've seen highly intelligent people not make it through their first day without getting fired. One, in particular, was going to school for his PhD and already had a Master's degree in some sort of engineering. And a nice guy too. But on his first run, he had one delivery that was literally about 4 blocks away from our restaurant and one that was on the opposite end of town (about 9 miles away through heavy traffic). He decided to deliver the food that was 4 blocks away last, since the one on the other end of town was the oldest time. The customer 4 blocks away, of course, was very angry that it took them almost 2 hours to get their food. And rightfully so! My boss let the engineer go in less than a total of 4 hours of employment at our restaurant.
And it works the other way too. I remember a hilarious episode from many years ago. It was a busy lunch rush, and our restaurant was hopping. I was loading my bag, and I overhear the girl up front telling my boss there was a customer on the line that needed to talk to him. I see my boss getting very agitated, asking the person on the phone, "What do you mean? How is that possible? Put him on the phone please." Then my boss said some things I won't repeat here, but he was talking to the driver who was standing there in front of the customer who had called to complain. As I recall, my boss told the driver "Next time deliver my @#@=& balls!" before slamming down the phone. Apparently the driver forgot the salad the customer ordered to an office...and the order was ONLY a salad. Which means somehow the driver entered the office building empty-handed, except for the ticket to collect the money. So yes, the driver delivered only a bill. No food. None of us have ever figured out how that's possible. But I know for a fact it happened. And the really strange thing is that he was actually a really good driver. No, he didn't get fired. Because he was a good and usually reliable driver.
So there seems to be no direct correlation between intelligence and pizza delivery aptitude. At least that's been my experience. Seems to me some of us were born for it, and some of us weren't. Which, I suppose, is like a lot of things in life. I'm so grateful that I was born for it, because there's no job I could love more.
Have a fabulous start to your weekend, to whom it applies. And thank you for riding along with me for a few!
I love you,
Kev.
XX
#PizzaDudeSez
By that logic, being an architect is very simple too: you get a ruler and some paper, draw some lines, roll the paper up, put it in a tube, and hand it someone and tell them to build it. Yes, it's a very good thing I'm not an architect! Or a doctor!! Oh man, that would be awful.
But as I've learned, there's a lot more that goes into things than outsiders often think of. I'll stick to pizza delivery since that's what I actually know. First off, there are generally several orders on top of the oven when you show up to work. It starts very simply: you check the tickets to see which one is the oldest time. Then you put it in a warming bag and check the other tickets to see which ones go the same direction. Still pretty easy, right? But that's actually when it starts getting complicated. How far away is your oldest time, and how long do you have to get there? What are road & traffic conditions like? How many other drivers are on shift at the moment? Will another driver be back shortly? Are there a lot more tickets on the rack that are coming, and are any almost done that are going your direction? Do you have a hotel, hospital, or office building delivery that's going to require extra time to get in and out of? What floor? Will you have to check and sign in with security? If you do, do you have time to drop your other deliveries first and come back and do the time-consuming one last?
Even all those questions aren't always easily answered. For instance, the question of how many drivers are on shift: you can't actually just count the heads of the fellow pizza dudes that are there, because it also depends on WHICH drivers are there. We have a couple of drivers that actually = 2 drivers (because they're overly greedy and drive too fast), and we have a couple of drivers that are the equivalent of only 1/2 of a driver (because they tend to take a very long time on their deliveries for whatever reason). We even have one driver that is equal to -1 of a driver, because he makes a number of mistakes that other drivers end up having to fix. You think I'm joking, don't you? I'm actually not. I, myself am the average 1 for a driver. So if we have a lot of deliveries on the oven and we're pressed for time, I'll have to stop and do some basic math: 1 + 2 + 1 + 1 - 1 + 2.= 6, we have 6 drivers on shift. Ask the cooks how many just left recently and get a rough idea of how many should be back approximately when. More math that I won't do here.
It's been my experience that it takes a certain type of brain to make a really good pizza driver...I suspect a very visual one. It goes without saying, of course, that one has to have a good understanding of the layout and numbering system of the city...but even with that knowledge it requires the ability to visualize possible routes you might take given a number of factors. Even some that are unpredictable.
Some types seem completely incapable of doing it. I've seen highly intelligent people not make it through their first day without getting fired. One, in particular, was going to school for his PhD and already had a Master's degree in some sort of engineering. And a nice guy too. But on his first run, he had one delivery that was literally about 4 blocks away from our restaurant and one that was on the opposite end of town (about 9 miles away through heavy traffic). He decided to deliver the food that was 4 blocks away last, since the one on the other end of town was the oldest time. The customer 4 blocks away, of course, was very angry that it took them almost 2 hours to get their food. And rightfully so! My boss let the engineer go in less than a total of 4 hours of employment at our restaurant.
And it works the other way too. I remember a hilarious episode from many years ago. It was a busy lunch rush, and our restaurant was hopping. I was loading my bag, and I overhear the girl up front telling my boss there was a customer on the line that needed to talk to him. I see my boss getting very agitated, asking the person on the phone, "What do you mean? How is that possible? Put him on the phone please." Then my boss said some things I won't repeat here, but he was talking to the driver who was standing there in front of the customer who had called to complain. As I recall, my boss told the driver "Next time deliver my @#@=& balls!" before slamming down the phone. Apparently the driver forgot the salad the customer ordered to an office...and the order was ONLY a salad. Which means somehow the driver entered the office building empty-handed, except for the ticket to collect the money. So yes, the driver delivered only a bill. No food. None of us have ever figured out how that's possible. But I know for a fact it happened. And the really strange thing is that he was actually a really good driver. No, he didn't get fired. Because he was a good and usually reliable driver.
So there seems to be no direct correlation between intelligence and pizza delivery aptitude. At least that's been my experience. Seems to me some of us were born for it, and some of us weren't. Which, I suppose, is like a lot of things in life. I'm so grateful that I was born for it, because there's no job I could love more.
Have a fabulous start to your weekend, to whom it applies. And thank you for riding along with me for a few!
I love you,
Kev.
XX
#PizzaDudeSez