I found myself thinking these types of things when I woke up next to Andrew on the Persian rug. If he was awake, he didn't let on. I thought about the crazy nights we've had on the Persian rug (it's a very large Persian rug, mind you!--specifically, the size of fairly large cottage which used to rest on that very place at one time). I thought about our nights of playing music, karaoke, and Tecmo Football on the Nintendo, too. Eventually, my thoughts fluttered away, and I wished a good sun-greeting to Dee-Dee the gorgeous and intelligent Turtle, who was resting peacefully upon my chest. She popped her little head out of her shell and mentioned what a beautiful sun-greeting it was. And it was indeed! Peaceful, calm, beautiful.
Dee Dee and I continued in pleasant and quiet conversation until Andrew finally woke up. "Happy sun-greeting, fabulouses!" Andrew shouted, and Dee-Dee was startled a bit. In the blink of an eye, Andrew had fired up the stereo system and was putting on a Ricky Nelson record. Much like Andrew's voice, the record played a bit louder than was really necessary--given that I was still processing being awake. "C'mon Be Bop Babies, let's boogie!" Only Andrew boogied. I stood up and stretched. Dee-Dee just watched him, somewhat fascinated, and she asked me if he was always this loud. I told Dee-Dee that he's often not this quiet, and she chuckled.
Apparently Andrew's volume had given my beautiful gatekeeper, Madeleine the albino Peackock (Peahen), the impression that we were ready to be productive...since I received a message from her almost instantly on my modified Casio communicator watch, asking for me to please report to Achilles' Last Stand (her desk, near the garden gate) at my earliest convenience. And so I placed Dee-Dee upon my shoulder, and headed toward my garden gate. Andrew flipped over the record album and continued to boogie upon the Persian rug.
"Happy sun-greeting, beautiful gatekeeper," I said to Madeleine, as I arrived at her desk, and Dee-Dee greeted her pleasantly as well. I began signing off on the garden gate activity logs. "I see Mitzy dropped off a shipment--ooh, plenty of wine for you, Madeleine! Nice! Now what's this about a remote control Ferrari? Did something happen to Cousin Eddie's patrol jeep?"
Madeleine laughed and asked, "Since when do you actually read the activity logs?"
"Hey, I've turned over a new leaf, beautiful gatekeeper!" I replied, and continued, "I've even been doing my Xanaduvian language homework all by myself. Just ask Caw Caw Carl or dear Caesar Emeritus!"
"Well, good for you, Mr. Kev," Madeleine quipped, and added, "It's nice to imagine you actually growing up a bit, isn't it? As to the remote control Ferrari, you'd have to ask Cousin Eddie about that. I was working on the online Andrew Wood forum for the fairies when he requested it, so I was only half-listening. He said something about Casey the Cardinal and Magnum P.I. is all I recall. As far as I know, the patrol jeep is fine." Madeleine typed a bit more on her laptop, crunched on a kale chip, and finally said, "And yes, Mr. Kev, you know I love my wine. But that's not why I called you up here. Sugaldo Smada is teaching a class in Lemmington and he's kindly asked me if I would be his teaching assistant--just for the one class is all. It's quite an honor, you know."
"is that the yoga monkey dude?" I asked.
"Yes, the yogi master," Madeleine corrected me, and she continued, "So I need you to tend the garden gate while I'm away, if you don't mind."
I answered, "I'd be happy to, Madeleine, but there are strict rules prohibiting me from being my own gatekeeper."
"Yes, I'm well aware of that Mr. Kev," my beautiful gatekeeper said--a bit terse, truth be told. "I thought, since Andrew is here now, that he could sort of be the official gatekeeper...and of course you could hang out with him. There's no rule against that, you know."
Just then, Andrew appeared in front of Achilles' Last Stand, and grabbed a handful of kale chips from a bowl next to Madeleine's laptop. "Captain Hi Top, Love Master of ceremonies, and Gatekeeper in Waiting, reporting for duty, lovely Madeleine!" Andrew exclaimed, then crunched his kale chips and saluted my beautiful gatekeeper." Both Madeleine and Dee-Dee snickered a bit at that, and we all shared a nice smile. "This will be fun!" Andrew finally added, and he sat down at the desk next to Madeleine. Then he started tapping away at keys on Madeleine's laptop.
Madeleine didn't seem to like that at first. "Easy there, handsome," she said to him, and then, "This computer's quite different from the ones you used to play with. See, darling? That's it, yes. Just move the mouse like so and click there. Wow! You're a fast learner!"
I tried very hard not to roll my eyes (not sure I succeeded) when I finally interrupted, "I'm not sure we're really going to need to use the computer, Madeleine." I might have been a bit jealous, in all honesty...as my beautiful gatekeeper never speaks to ME that way. Handsome? Darling? Fast Learner? I guess being from Olypmus has its perks. Andrew obviously picked up on my energy, for he smiled and winked knowingly at me when Madeleine wasn't looking. His wink told me telepathically that he was just setting us up so that we could screw around on her laptop while she was away. Certainly he had something playfully sinister planned. I laughed silently behind my beautiful gatekeeper's back. Such a clever darling Andrew is! This was indeed going to be a fun sun-greeting! And so I munched on a few kale chips and let Madeleine and Andrew "bond."
Just then, Yana the Black Bear (Vanya's neice. Vanya, for new readers, is a massively massive Brown Bear, and head of the Xanadu Forest Mafia) arrived at the garden gate. "Well hello there, guys! How's tricks?" Yana exclaimed. Yana blew and popped a bubble gum bubble as she entered my Sacred Garden and approached Achilles' Last Stand. After that, Yana gave me a peck on the cheek and told me, "Nice to see you, handsome."
Before I could tell Yana any of the things I wanted to tell her, my beautiful gatekeeper interrupted, "Hey, Yana! I'm just about ready. Did you bring your yoga pants?"
"Wait a minute!" I exclaimed in Madeleine's direction, "You're taking Yana with you to Lemmington?"
"Well I'm not walking all the way to Lemmington by myself, you know, Mr. Kev," Madeleine replied. "Besides, she's been getting bored at her uncle's lair, and I thought she might enjoy the Yoga. "You're not jealous, are you?" Madeleine finally asked me.
Since there IS actually a rule about lying to your gatekeeper, I was forced to admit that I was--"But only a little bit," I assured everyone present. Then I added, "But it's not just that, my beautiful gatekeeper. You DO remember what happened when I took Yana to Lemmington the first time? How she blew up a fireworks stand and tortured and strapped a poor Lemming to a tree? And how we had to run and flee the angry mob of Lemmings?"
"He was a little pervert!" Yana shouted. "I'm not fond of little perverts trying to look up my skirt! Even if it IS just a weak Lemming."
"Good for YOU, Yana!" shouted Dee-Dee the gorgeous and intelligent Turtle, and Yana and Dee-Dee high-five'd one another. Andrew just looked over at me, and smiled and shrugged his shoulders.
Madeleine interjected immediately, "Yes, Kev, I remember. It'll be fine, I'm sure. Yana was new to the forest then. She's much more reserved now. She's promised me to be on her best behavior."
Yana nodded in confirmation, then she looked at me and took my hand. "I'm no angel, Kev, but I've made a promise to Madeleine, and I don't break my promises, darling--for good OR for bad. I'm an honorable misfit. I'll be good." Then Yana smiled warmly, and gave me another peck on the cheek. Then she added, "If you'll trust me sweetie, and promise not to worry, I'll bring you back a fabulous gift from Lemmington Square. And yes, I'll pay for it!" Then Yana laughed, as did we all.
"I promise," I smiled, and gave Yana a tight bear hug.
Just as Madeleine had finished giving her final gatekeeper instructions to Andrew, we all turned and looked toward the little garage Cousin Eddie had built out of beer cans...for there was much squawking going on. It was Casey the Cardinal and Cousin Eddie, of course! As I approached the garage, the two corvids came into view, seemingly engaged in some sort of heated debate.
Andrew appeared in front of me, and plopped down on the ground, looking into the garage. "Boys, boys!" He shouted. The squawking stopped immediately, and the two corvids both greeted him. Then Andrew asked Casey the Cardinal, "What's with the crazy get ups?" I finally noticed Casey was wearing a Hawaiian shirt, a Detroit Tigers' cap, and large sunglasses (the sort of sunglasses my dad or one of his friends would wear). Further, I noticed that Cousin Eddie, my soulmate Raven, was wearing a pair of large aviation headphones, complete with a microphone. I paused to look over at Achilles' Last Stand, which was by now abandoned--aside from Dee-Dee the gorgeous and intelligent Turtle. Madeleine and Yana had already left.
And that was how our sun-greeting of Heartshine and high jinks began. Andrew Wood of Olympus, my third angel, now also my gatekeeper. What could possibly go wrong?
Thank you all for humoring me and being a part of my life's journey.
Beautiful of beautifuls!
I love you.