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Chapter 41a: Shelelabee, Rhianka, And The Wayward Son: A Sacred Pub Soliloquy Part I

9/19/2018

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Many of you know that I've been working furiously on my Xanaduvian language homework of late, and also that I've been enjoying working on it while attending the Sacred Pub of late. This has done wonders for my productivity, as it turns out, but also has brought about some unintended consequences. Before I get too wrapped up in this chapter, however, I should back up a bit and bring you up to speed on goings-on in my Sacred Garden...

Firstly, my beautiful gatekeeper Madeleine, the albino Peacok (Peahen), still has not returned from teaching yoga classes with her guru, Sugaldo Smada...I can only assume, at this point, that she has run off with him. I do not blame, her, of course. She was destined for such things. Always I shall love her and wish her the very best of all things.

​Secondly, and somewhat awkwardly, the faithful, helpful, gorgeous, and intelligent Turtle, Dee-Dee, has been sort of filling in as my interim gatekeeper until we can find a permanent solution. Not that this was ever discussed or even implied, mind you. Not initially, at least. Dee-Dee just sort of fell into the role, and it's been working fabulously. Dee-Dee and I have even discovered that we can communicate telepathically--indeed over great distances--and so we've been able to abandon the modified Casio calculator watch communicators that Madeleine and I had been using. All in all, all things in my Sacred Garden have been streamlined and simplified once again, and this feels very, very nice. Also, all of  the intercom systems that had been installed throughout my beloved Xanadu Forest have been deactivated, dismantled, and altogether obliterated so that I can rest most assuredly, knowing they will never again be reactivated. And finally, there are no longer lengthy garden gate activity logs for me to sign-off on each sun-greeting. As to the awkward part? Well, having loved and lost two wonderful gatekeepers at this point, a part of me is terrified of losing a third one. We all know well there are no guarantees in life, of course. Such promises should never be made. Fullest intention, yes, but a promise, no. 

See, the only gatekeepers I have had heretofore have been based upon real life beings in my earthly life...and Dee-Dee the gorgeous and intelligent Turtle is also based upon an actual human being I know upon Earth. So I had suggested to Dee-Dee that my dear Caw Caw Carl, the Stellers Jay, my assistant to the assistant in the county clerk's office, had been training himself for just such an occasion as we are now experiencing. I explained further to Dee-Dee that ultimately he would be my eternal gatekeeper, for this was the intention long before she came into my life. Caw Caw Carl, you see, is not based upon any earthly being I have ever known--he is purely a creation of my own imagination, and, therefore, I never need to fear him leaving me. Dee-Dee the gorgeous and intelligent Turtle was understandably stung by this, despite my kindest and warmest intentions. I assured her she remains inside my Sacred Garden for as long as she wishes to stay--in any capacity it may end up being. I should add, dear reader, that as much as Dee-Dee and I love one another and share a deep and intimate connection, we aren't nor ever have been romantic lovers...not with each other, at least.

And so now here I am, inside the Sacred Pub once again, having another Minute Mead, and considering how all these events are going to play out over the chapters. Olga the bartender Fairy smiles warmly at me, then rushes off to shout at a couple lemmings that have just spilled their After Ales onto the new digital jukebox she had just had installed. They were booted out instantly, likely never to be seen again inside the Sacred Pub. Olga is a sweetheart, but she runs a tough ship...as well she should! I shuffle my Xanaduvian homework papers back into a neat stack upon the bar, and swivel my seat around to examine my current surroundings. There are a handful of fat squirrels from Walnut St., with their derby hats and overstuffed briefcases...they are shooting darts, and watching for stray acorns (which are currency once again, in our beloved Xanadu Forest). I see some of the Otterman boys (they are River Otters from further north of the Xanadu Forest, along my sister The River) shooting pool and having a pleasant time...but their brother Dwight is noticeably absent. Then I suddenly remember he was booted from the Sacred Pub several moon-greetings ago for lighting off fireworks inside the Sacred Pub. This is a HUGE no-no with Olga, and will get one kicked out faster than anything else bad you can imagine doing inside the Sacred Pub. Loyal readers of these stories will remember many chapters ago how a very drunk Casey the Cardinal (or more technically correct, "Mr. Feathers," as he calls himself when he's too drunk) fired off his flare gun inside the Sacred Pub and nearly burned the building down. Gratefully, Andrew of Olympus was with us that night to spare the Sacred Pub and all of its patrons of any serious harm. 

It was that moment I came to sort of a realization: the Sacred Pub was getting busier and busier each time I came over from my Sacred Garden. I decided to ask Olga the bartender Fairy about this, since I seemed to still be on her good side this moon-greeting, and she told me something to the effect, "Well of course it is, sweetie! You're here! You've been rubbing elbows with Andrew for so long now, I suspect it's rubbed off on you. You spend enough time in one place, and people are bound to gather round you." Then she poured me another Minute Mead and chased off a couple fat squirrels from Walnut St. that were trying to scam some unsuspecting Lemmings with their infamous shell games. Olga was right, now that I thought about it. I was drawing more critters into the Sacred Pub simply by being here. What seemed like ages ago, Andrew and I and the birds (Casey the Cardinal and Cousin Eddie the Raven) used to come here on an almost nightly basis. But that was back when my Sacred Garden was very full of loved ones who had long since gone away to other places. Since my return to my Sacred Garden, I had only been venturing out to the Sacred Pub on very rare special occasion...until recently, when I found it such an ideal location to work on my Xanaduvian language homework. 

And then I suddenly saw her! And her! There were new bartender fairies working in the Sacred Pub! It had been many a moon and sun greeting since I had seen such a sight! "Lovely," I accidentally thought out loud...which attracted Olga's attention immediately, even  though I was still turned with my back to her, feeling the din of the room. 

Olga had read my thoughts--even the still silent ones--perfectly: "Now don't be getting any ideas, Mr. Kev; I know that look all too well! Yes, they are lovely dolls indeed. Two of Lustra's finest."

I spun round in my stool and said sheepishly, "But I wasn't..."

"Oh yes you were, Mr. Kev! You're a terrible liar, you are," Olga interjected. Then she continued, "Do I need to remind you of my special rule again?" Then Olga topped off another Minute Mead for me and slid it my way.

"No, dear, Olga, no you don't. I remember. And thank you, lovely." Then I sucked the perfect amount of  foam from the top of my flagon and continued, "Just so lovely, you know. Both of them. So graceful and fabulous." Then I spun a bit in my stool and pointed, "Especially her. Something about her. I don't know. Just feels very nice. Her smile, her Heartshine, her glitter-stream...everything."

"Kinda reminds you of yourself, maybe?" Olga asked pensively, then added, "I noticed that too when I hired her. That's Shelelabee. She's a special one for sure. The other one over there is Rhianka...she's amazing and lovely too. And neither of them even skim the till. Honestly, Kev, I don't blame you for having your thoughts. But that said, don't have anymore thoughts. I'd hate to have to boot my most fabulous patron--plus it'd be bad for business! And I'd genuinely miss you." Then Olga and I both laughed heartily and clinked our flagons together merrily.

Olga the bartender fairy is so sweet when she wants to be, and I was most grateful to be here in her company on just such a moon-greeting. I sipped my Minute Mead slowly, but thoughtfully, until the last drop was gone from the flagon. Shortly thereafter, I excused myself to explore the hallway and use the restroom. As I passed by the jukebox, I ran into dear Caesar Emeritus, the Baloo-eyed Akita, and Ptolemy the gentle Boxer. We three exchanged warm hugs and pleasantries, and it seemed as though they had gotten very close to learning how to use the new jukebox. I suggested they play some songs by the Eagles, but Ptolemy absolutely insisted on playing Bachman Turner Overdrive. I wasn't going to argue, and so I didn't. With that, I excused myself again and sauntered down the hallway.

Then it happened! She happened--officially, I mean. Shelellabee came zipping down the hallway right toward me. I smiled and sort of halfway waved. She stopped. She smiled. She landed on my shoulder, and planted the sweetest kiss ever upon my cheek. Oh boy! I'm not sure how I remained standing. My heart raced. My cheeks shined with the warmth of my blood. Olga's warning played on repeat in my head, and I couldn't bring myself to say anything to sweet Shelelabee, other than an awkward "Hi," before I ran off to the restroom to catch my breath. 

No pun intended, I had never felt more relieved to be standing in front of the urinal. My heart was relaxed again, and I repeated my breathing exercises. Ahhh...safe at last. And I had my plan, now too: I would go back out into the hallway, hang a hard left, and go straight to the back room for a few games of pinball. I washed my hands and appreciated myself for a moment or three in the mirror. One last gentle inhale and exhale. I was cool again. And fabulous. Good. 

My solace wasn't to last for long, however, as I was overwhelmed by a horrid clanking sound...and the door from the back stall flung open and crashed into the wall. I jumped a bit, "Dwight!? Dwight Otterman? What are you doing here? You've been booted!"

"Correction, my dear Kev," the River Otter replied. "I mean, yes, Dwight Otterman has been booted from the Sacred Pub...but NOT Moonshine Superman!" It turns out the wayward son River Otter had managed to convince my Cousin Eddie the Raven to make him a super hero disguise out of beer cans. 

"Oh my God," just sort of escaped my lips instinctively. "Dude, Olga is being nice to me tonight. Please don't ruin it. Besides, I've just experienced my first crush in many sun and moon-greetings. I'd like to enjoy it for a bit before getting on Olga's bad side."

"Dude, don't worry," Moonshine Superman replied, and "There's no way she's gonna know it's me in this disguise...and even if she did, she won't be able to defeat Moonshine Superman. No one can defeat me."

"Oh my God," just sort of escaped my lips instinctively once again. I tried another breathing exercise, and tried to calm myself by looking into the restroom mirror. At least my hair still looked fabulous. I finally calmed myself just enough to speak. "Dwight--I mean, Moonshine Superman--we've got to get you out of here before one of the bartender fairies discovers you. Please?"

I put my hand gently upon Moonshine Superman's shoulder, and guided him left down the hallway, as we exited the restroom cautiously. I held him directly in front of me in the hopes that anyone behind us wouldn't be able to spot him. Not that they wouldn't hear him clanking, mind you. I could hear the famous Kansas song blaring on the jukebox behind us. And then came the lovely bartender fairy Rhianka. This is so not good. 

To be continued.

Thank you for joining me on this lovely journey...especially my special Wednesday Girl. 
Semba.

I love you.
KeV
​XX







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Chapter 40: What's In A Name?: A Stellers Jay's Tale

9/1/2018

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As some of you know, Caw Caw Carl, the fabulous Stellers Jay, is my assistant to the assistant county clerk in the county clerk's office of our beloved Xanadu Forest. Some of you also know that Caw Caw Carl and I have been spending lots of time together in the county clerk's office of late...mostly working on my Xanaduvian language homework, which is kindly provided me by our beloved forest's librarian, dear Caesar Emeritus, the Baloo-eyed Akita. 

It occurred to me a few sun greetings ago that all of us--including myself--knew very very little of Caw Caw Carl's background story, and so I decided to ask him about this. He was quite happy to share, of course, and even answered questions I had neither asked him, nor thought of. It soon became apparent that it would be a good good thing for all of us if he simply wrote down his story. And so Caw Caw Carl did so--gladly! And so now seemed like a good time for me to share his story with all of you, dear lovelies. Before I share his story, though, there are a couple things I must tell you in the interests of integrity and brevity, both of which are highly regarded still in our beloved lands. 

Firstly, Caw Caw Carl and I both agreed mutually that I would need to edit his story quite a bit before we made it public, due mostly to his unique and beautiful form of double-speak. Please understand, dear readers, he is very well-spoken, and well-versed in all forms of writing...but his natural double-speak can be quite taxing (and even confusing, at times) for anyone not already accustomed to it. I have left some of his double-speak in his story in an attempt to give the reader a better feel for how he speaks, but pared it down just enough to reasonably hope that readers won't become overly confused.

Secondly (and once you read his story, you'll see why this explanation is necessary), I must describe somewhat the nature of the relationship between our own Interterrestria and their Morganshire, which lies directly east of my sister, the River. Any maps you might happen to see of Interterrestria will tend to include Morganshire in them, which has led to the false belief that Morganshire is part of our lands. It's possible--and perhaps even probable--that Morganshire was in fact a part of Interterrestria many ages ago, but if that were the case, it has long since been broken off from our proper lands. In fact, there is a dimensional barrier between our respective lands so that Morganshirians cannot cross into Interterrestria proper...and for good reason.

You see, dear reader, Morganshire is a very large and heavily populated land...a metropolis, I believe, most earthlings would consider it. It is full of all sorts of industry, manufacturing, and institutions of any sort you might name or imagine. Not that they don't have forests and nature there as well...just that they tend to be overshadowed by sciences and education, finances, politics, celebrities, and, indeed, all things material...and a general lack of all things deep and spiritual. Now many of you will realize immediately how this could conflict with the beliefs and ideals of we Interterrestrians, and indeed it does in many ways. But we Interterrestrians do not see ourselves as superior OR inferior to the Morganshirians. We simply see ourselves as different creatures with different beliefs. And please don't misunderstand me, dear reader, we Xanaduvians (especially in my Sacred Garden!) love and enjoy some material things as much--if not more--than the Morganshirians. Also we know, of course, that there are many lovely spiritual beings in Morganshire as well. And we admire their society's overall beauty and ingenuity. But no, the vast majority of their populace has very little in common with we Xanaduvians. I believe, if they were to interact with us, they would tend to see us mostly as foolish simpletons. And, in many ways, we are. But the greatest difference between Xanaduvians & Morganshirians is the fact that we have eternal life here in our lands, whereas all things eventually die in Morganshire...and death is generally considered an ending in their society. This, dear lovelies, is why we have a dimensional barrier between us and them, so that they cannot cross over into our lands. Interterrestria is VERY sparsely populated, which is important when no one ever dies. [You might imagine that mating and procreation are extremely rare in Interrestria, and you would be right, of course!]

All this being said, we DO have a few former Morganshirians in our beloved Xanadu Forest, myself being one of them. This implies, of course, that there is a way to cross over the dimensional barrier...which, of course, there is--a couple of different ways, actually! Caw Caw Carl is another being that discovered this. This is no easy thing to do. In the interests of secrecy, I can't tell you much more about this, other than that it involves lots of paperwork, stamps, good fortune, faith, and seals of approval. I can also tell you that my Sacred Garden has long had a wonderful working relationship with the chief magistrate of Morganshire, which happens to be an immortal bald eagle who was originally from Interterrestria. 

Now that these things are out of the way, we can finally get on with Caw Caw Carl's tale, as edited by me:

"My name is Carl Carl, or Caw Caw Carl Carl, as many of my newly new friends have come to call call me. I was, am, and likely always will be a Stellers Jay. I was born in a moderately humble district of Morganshire, to my goodly kind parents, Mavis and Tom Tom. I was the last of my siblings to hatch--of which there were 4 others--and the last to learn to how to fly. And never did I learn to fly so gracefully fluent...even to this day! My parents owned a well-known and reputable print shop near the central document district in Morganshire City proper, and my siblings and I--when we were old enough of age--all worked there with them. We were neither richly rich, nor poorly poor, and never lacked for life's necessary necessities.

My father, Tom Tom, was a goodly good bird, but also somewhat of a hard bird, too. "Work, work," seemed to be his personal mantra saying to himself--except on weekend ends, when the print shop was closed. Then, his mantra saying seemed to be "No adventuresome adventures," though he would make little bits of time for rest and relaxation, here and there. And he had a genuinely fond love for fine ales, and even finer food...which my mother Mavis always happily prepared and provided. 

My mother, Mavis, was not only a goodly good mother and wife, but also a most lovely preparer and provider for us all. She work worked hard at the print shop too, like my father...and a couple of my siblings. She seemed to work work even harder on the weekend ends. I always found it interesting that her and my father ended up together, because she was, by nature, an adventuresome dreamer. I would later learn, later on, that she inherited this part of herself from her father--my grandfather--Carl...who I was named after, of course. I've always had an ongoing, lingering feeling that my mother sacrificed many hidden, adventuresome dreams within herself for the sake of our family...but never did she seem or feel to be unhappy or regretful in the least. Always smiling most beautifully. 

Now on the weekend ends, many of our extended family members would often come over to our nest, and it often felt like a holiday day, even when it wasn't actually a holiday day. Aunts, uncles, cousins, cousins' cousins, uncles' aunts, and aunts' uncles and their cousins' cousins and on and on, until there were 40 or so Stellers Jays at our nest...and my grandfather Carl, of course! 

My grandfather Carl was an odd bird indeed, or so my family and extended family openly thought and said of him. Ultimately, Grandpa Pa Carl is how I would eventually come to live and dwell in the heart of the heart of the beloved Xanadu Forest. But now I'm getting aheadly ahead of myself! You see, while the rest of my family and extended family were laughing and gabbing and carrying on about this, that and whatever else, Grandpa Pa Carl would be sitting quietly outside the nest, swaying gently on the front porch swing, sipping slowly on a fine ale, and counting the stars. And many times, I would often join him there. He would tell me the most lovely tales of adventuresome adventure...some that he had read in books, and some that his brother Joel Joel had told him many years ago. I never did meet Joel Joel, for as Grandpa Pa Carl tells it, Joel Joel had long since left Morganshire for this mysterious place called Interterrestria--and eventually he just never returned. 

'Do you think Joel Joel died?' I asked Grandpa Pa Carl many nights over the years, but never would he answer me. He would just smile warm and softly, stroke my wing, and tell me that he will tell me just only when the time was right...when I was old enough of age to hear such wondrous things. Then he would go back to sipping slowly his fine ale, and counting the stars, and the stars of stars. 

One most fabulous night, upon our front porch swing--THAT time--much to my delight's delight--that night had finally arrived! Without me even asking that question yet again, Grandpa Pa Carl smiled warm and softly, 'Oh no, no, my beloved little Caw Caw...no one dies in Interterrestria. Life there always goes on forever! Now, most people don't believe that Interterrestria actually exists, though I know for a fact that it does. In fact, I have a most lovely, wonderful gift for you to prove it.' He pulled a small and not particularly thick-looking book out from underneath his wing, and handed it to me. The book was ancient looking, and encrusted with gems that had dimmed, and no longer shined. I dared not open the book, though I stroked its cover gently, and inhaled its most timely and timeless scent. Grandpa Pa Carl finally continued, 'My odd and beautiful brother Joel Joel brought me this book one night secretly, many many years ago. He told me it was a secret book he obtained from the Xanadu Forest, and that he wanted me to have it now...because I was the only one that ever truly believed in him. Joel Joel told me that inside this book are precious, ancient Xanaduvian secrets and wisdom...and even the knowledge and keys to crossing over into other dimensions. He then told me that he was returning to Interterrestria, never again to return to Morganshire...and that he was leaving this book with me in case I ever decided to join him there someday day.'

I was so movingly moved, and wondrously overwhelmed, that I almost didn't know what to say say. And I sort of felt kind of like crying, but it a most goodly good way. But then I thought of something, and asked my beloved Grandpa Pa Carl, 'So did you go visit Joel Joel in Interterrestria?'

Grandpa Pa smiled, and stroked my wing, gently and slowly, and softly replied, 'No, no, my dear dear Caw Caw. I never even opened the book--I didn't want to be tempted by it. My heart of hearts always spoke to me that that was not my own path or destiny, and that this book  fell into my wings for the purposeful purpose of another...another I would discover many years years later, when YOU were born! And so close your eyes for a moment, my beloved Caw Caw, and breathe. Slowly, softly. Allow your heart of hearts to speak  to you. You will know what to do.'

I did as my beloved Grandpa Pa Carl asked of me, and my heart of hearts spoke--softly and gently. And I began to cry...a sadly sad sort of cry. Grandpa Pa pulled me close and tight, and wrapped his wing around me. He began to cry a sadly sad sort of cry too. I finally choked back my tears and spoke, 'I can feel your heartbeat. It's such a beautiful beautiful rhythm. And my heart of hearts speaks too...but how can I?...'

'Shhh, my beloved Caw Caw. No more wordly words for us. And don't you ever, ever worry. I will speak speak to our family and extended family on your behalf, and I won't stop speaking speaking about it until they finally believe me, and smile, and their heart of hearts will speak to them and tell them all what a happily happy and beautifully beautiful occasion this really is. And I shall know forever that you will truly and literally love us all forever and ever. Because death will never find or touch you. And nothing could ever make my heart of hearts smile bigger or greater!' Then my beloved Grandpa Pa Carl kissed my forehead one last time, and his eyes sparkled so sparkly.

And many breezes, and many many pages later, here I am inside the county clerk's office of our beloved Xanadu Forest, so happily happy to be the assistant to the assistant county clerk, and holding out hope that I will someday day be the worthy forever gatekeeper my heart of hearts has called me to be.I am your friend, dear readers, Caw Caw Carl Carl the Stellers Jay, and this is my story."

Thank you all for being out there and for being a part of my lovely journey. 
I love you, and life is sooo beautiful beautiful.
Semba.

KeV
XX
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    KeV Atomic was Xanadu Dead and is now both of them. 

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