It's so hard, and feels so strange to type these words, but it's time I just say it: my lovely gatekeeper and I have parted ways. There was a time not so long ago I would have thought it was impossible for my Sacred Garden to continue without her presence in it. But now (thanks to her teachings and guidance, ironically enough), I know that my Sacred Garden will and MUST continue on, even if I were to become its only real life inhabitant. I'm not going to repeat the things that have already been explained in the Introduction to these stories; but let it be known these stories would never have come to light were it not for the lovely gatekeeper's presence in my life. Should I live for a thousand years, it still wouldn't be enough time to express the profound love and gratitude I will always carry in my heart for her.
I don't want to go into the specifics of our parting here, for it would serve no purpose other than to foster division and make the ground fertile for excuses--two things I know well both of us will always despise. I'm explaining this now because in Chapter 21, which I will write another day in the near future, the story will reflect an inaccurate portrayal of how my lovely gatekeeper and I came to part ways...and it felt important to my heart that readers know I have no intention to deceive them or excuse my own behavior. You see, it was I that initiated the breakup, and I gave her no voice in the decision. She didn't abandon me, and I don't believe she ever would...it's important to my heart that I say that to all of you. What is right and wrong I may never know, but I know without a doubt that I didn't handle the situation properly...and knowing my heart as I do, I likely never would have. The ending was not fair to her. That is the truth as I feel it in my heart. And now my heart feels me teetering very close to offering up lame and egocentric excuses, so I'm going to leave it right there.
For those of you that knew of our unique and special relationship, I want you to know that we did email one another and confirm that we will always love one another and will always wish only good things for one another. And, most importantly, that we will always remember. The memories, the stories...they remain eternal.
This is not an ending, it's a new beginning--for all parties involved...and may we always be committed to spreading only positive energy--best as we can in our human condition. People come into our lives all the time for any number of reasons, and almost all of them will leave our lives--also for any number of reasons (yes, I learned that from my lovely gatekeeper, of course!) I shall continue to believe and say that Fate knows what it's doing, and that Love will always prevail. Thank you all for being there, every single one of you that has been a part of my journey in this world. And thank you for letting me say these things. My heart has really needed it.
I love you.