Just as I was about to have action figure ME and Cousin Eddie go into the replica Tree house and search through a tiny replica treasure trunk, a notification came through on my modified Casio calculator watch that Yana the black bear had given to me and my beautiful gatekeeper Madeliene. Madeleine and I didn't share a Casio calculator watch of course. Yana gave us each one so that all three of us could always be in contact with one another. Anyway, the notification was a message from Yana...specifically, it was an invitation for me to go with her to Lustra (land of the fairies) as a V.I.P. guest to a music festival called Fabupalooza. "Ahh, so that's what Fabupalooza is," I thought to myself. Except out loud, by mistake. I really need to work on separating my thoughts from my spoken words. "It's going to get me into trouble someday, I'm sure." my thoughts continued.
Caw Caw Carl replied, "I don't don't understand, Mr. Kev Kev. What sort of trouble trouble?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, Caw Caw, I meant to think that instead of say that," I explained, and added, "Vanya's niece Yana just invited me to a music festival in Lustra. Fabupalooza it's called. Yana has V.I.P. passes for us, apparently."
"Oh that sounds fun fun, Mr. Kev Kev!" Caw Caw Carl went on, "I haven't heard heard of it, but it it definitely sounds like like something made very very much for you."
"Yes, Caw Caw, yes it does," I exclaimed. "This will be fun indeed. It seems Yana is good friends with one of the bands playing the festival...Glitallica--that's how she got the V.I.P. passes she says." I continued reading through Yana's message, and continued to explain to Caw Caw, "They are very good, but I've never seen them live. Yana says they'll be playing mostly songs from their albums Master of Pockets and Glide the Highlights...which happen to be my two favorite albums by them.
"Sounds fascinating fascinating, Mr. Kev Kev," Caw Caw Carl interjected politely to let me know I still had his attention. "But I haven't heard of them them."
I continued scrolling and reading Yana's message on my Casio calculator watch, and explaining, "Yana says guitarist/singer Shane Sweetfield used to be one of her students at the university. And she says that bassist Robbie Bonito is very nice. The other guitar player, Dirk Glamlett, tends to keep to himself, Yana says in the message...as he still has things he doesn't want to admit openly. And drummer Starz Ultra is pretty much a sex-crazed a-hole, apparently, but not altogether unpleasant. Either way, I'm sure the show will be great," I added.
"Interesting, interesting, Mr. Kev Kev," Caw Caw Carl replied, again, to be polite. And the Steller's Jay wheeled Cousin Eddie's tiny replica remote control patrol jeep over to my replica Persian rug, and had action figure Cousin Eddie sorting through super tiny replica record albums.
"And oh wow!" I exclaimed, and Caw Caw Carl jumped a bit, "Look who's headlining the festival...it's the Fab Fabs! I got to see them live and meet them when they were the Groove Grooves. Wow, they have come far to have surpassed Glitallica to headline a music festival! So awesome! And most worthy."
"That's so lovely lovely to hear, Mr. Kev Kev. But sadly sadly, I haven't heard of them either either. Either either of their name names," Caw Caw contributed. Then Carl had action figure Cousin Eddie playing a miniature Van Halen record upon a tiny tiny turntable replica that somehow actually played the replica record. Impressive. Most impressive! Caw Caw Carl was learning my Sacred Garden very well! Once again, I had mistakenly allowed my silent thoughts to become audible, and Caw Caw Carl replied, "Thank you very much much, Mr. Kev Kev; but I give most of the credit credit to Gemini Cricket Cricket. He's very clever clever you know know!" And then the Stellers Jay asked me, "What other bands are playing playing Fabupalooza? Perhaps there's one one I've actually heard heard of?"
"Well there is Chenelle," I read off the list on my Casio calculator watch.
"Nope nope," Caw Caw answered, "I like like that name name though."
I scrolled Yana's message more and asked hopefully, "How about Blush? They are playing too."
Caw Caw Carl seemed excited to reply finally, "Oh yes yes! I know of them well well! I just adore adore their singer Lavender Frostdale. Now HE is a special special performer!"
I simply replied to Caw Caw Carl, "Nice, nice," and sent Yana a message on my Casio calculator watch communicator thanking her for the super kind invitation and assuring her I would be so honored to attend Fabupalooza with her. After that, Caw Caw Carl suggested I share with the readers a few words about fairies since I would soon be going to Lustra. Actually, Carl said it was Gemini Cricket's idea. Either way, I thought it was a great idea, and so here are some words on fairies and such like that:
As they are on your Earth, fairies are somewhat of a strange and mysterious anomaly on our Interterrestrian lands. Both the history I have read of them in books at the Library Tree, and my own personal interactions with them, have only served for me to be much more confused about them than I am knowledgeable. But I will share with you what little I know.
For starters, dear reader, do not confuse fairies of Interterrestria with those of your Earthly dimension; for of a certainty they are quite different from yours...despite having some traits in common. Though our fairies may have similarities in general size and appearance, these are not the fairies of your children's cartoons and books. No, these are not your children's fairies. They drink lots of alcohol, most of them smoke, and all of them like hard rock and metal music. Some also like pop music too, but they are in the minority in Lustra, the land where they come from. And they do not ever leave money under anyone's pillows for any reason at all whatsoever! There may well be godmothers in Lustra, and certainly there are fairies in our lands that have magical abilities...but again, these are not your children's fair godmothers. I've never seen an Interterrestrian fairy carrying a wand, nor have any of the books I've read on them mentioned magic wands. If you want to know where the next party is, or a great rock concert, almost any given fairy of Lustra is likely capable of helping you with that. If they choose to tell you.
Which is another trait of our fairies you should understand: though they aren't mean-spirited or cruel creatures in any sort of way, assisting others (even other fairies) generally isn't their cup of tea. That's not to say they won't ever help others in need, but you'll need a bit of good fortune and booze should you ever find yourself in need of their assistance. Good concert tickets are effective in a pinch as well...though often they will tend to already have any concert tickets you might offer them as a bribe. So yes, dear reader, the fairies of Lustra are more than moderately self-centered and serving, leaning even toward a very soft form of narcissism. In most cases. As with ALL beings, there are exceptions, of course. But not many.
The biological makeup of Lustran fairies is also a most fascinating study in and of itself. I won't go into depth here, as I am no scientist, and many of the books I've read on it seem to have contrasting views on the subject. Something I can tell you for sure is that our fairies don't actually have to eat or drink for sustenance, though of course they often do both--but only for pleasurable reasons. They do have a perfectly functioning digestive system, not so unlike a tiny version of the human digestive system. But--and this is the strange part--they are also able to survive and thrive just fine using a system that is very similar to photosynthesis, just as plants, flowers, and trees do. As it turns out, the pores of our fairies' skin are like the stomata of a leaf...they can breathe carbon dioxide through their skin! And, just like plants, they release oxygen and even water, to a degree. And here's another weird and often misunderstood thing about fairies: they do not actually use their wings to fly. Their wings are there only for show, and to more easily guide their flight...like the sails upon a ship. The propulsion system they use to actually fly is still very confusing to me, but seems to be part of this photosynthesis process. Basically, they have a way of controlling the intensity of the oxygen and water they release from their skin. The best way to explain it, I believe, is that the pores/stomata of their skin are like thousands upon thousands of tiny rocket boosters. And somehow, amazingly enough, they are able to control the release and intake of each individual pore. And though I can't understand the science behind it, something in this process is also what causes them to leave trails of differently colored glitter. I read in one of dear Ceasar Emeritus' books that an expert on Lustran fairies is able to track a fairy's path by the colors of the glitter trails they leave behind. Cool, huh? I wish I could understand this better.
And this leads to the greatest mystery of all regarding the fairies of Lustra: their origin. Readers of these previous chapters will know that all life upon Interterrestria came from either the Createds (they created all the creatures/animals, mountains, rivers) or the Seeders (the Seeders planted all the seeds that became trees, flowers, grass, etc.). The Lustran fairies seem to be either both of these types of creations, or neither of them. It's hard for me to grasp, really. If you were to ask a given fairy about their origin (I have done this), they will only tell you that the fairies have always been. And always will be. They do not believe in the Createds, Seeders, or any sort of higher being at all whatsoever. And so they have no religion or faith at all. They do not mind that other creations believe in such things, however, so long as they are not lumped in with them. Indeed, there is no faster way to offend a fairy than to tell them they are a product of either Createds or Seeders. Or even both, as I personally surmise, though I'd never express that openly to a fairy. Interestingly enough, neither myself nor dear Caesar Emeritus have ever found a single Dead Tree scroll that mentions the fairies of Lustra in any capacity at all.
And so to this land called Lustra shall I soon journey off to with Yana, the lovely black bear. And I've no doubt it will be a most nice nice time! Which reminds me, I will have Caw Caw Carl the Steller's Jay post this to Twitter right after I tell you how much I love and appreciate you for joining us on this journey.
Life is beautiful beautiful.
Thank you for always being out there.
I love you.