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Chapter 44: A Knew House Band & A Hidden Trilogy: Enter The Comnandrai

1/29/2019

Hello, hi! This is Kev Kev's gatekeeping gatekeeper, Caw Caw Carl Carl. Kev Kev has given me the most honorably honor of writing this chapter's introductory introduction. Thank you, Kev Kev!

No matter matter what type of critterly critter you are, I have learned that all of us like to feel most safely safe. Something else I have learned is that Kev Kev's imaginary lands of Interterrestria are always semba safe...at least they always have been been. At least for many eras of ages. And maybe they probably still are, but then again, maybe not. From what Kev Kev tells me, this chapter is going to get kind of scary--yikes yikes! Maybe even the next couple of chapterly chapters will have some scaries in them too as well. Double-double yikes yikes!!

Anyhoo, you, thank you all for giving me this lovely lovely opportunity. Oh, and my muy bonita Reigna Reigna Rellena says "Hola, hi!" And we bothly both love you. I will let Kev Kev get on with the story story now! Adios amigo-o's!

Enter Kev Kev:

"Thank you, my dear Caw-Caw. A most excellent job by you! So very proud of you. You kids have fun, and I'll meet you later on at the Sacred Pub after I finish this chapter. Please tell Olga, Shelellabee, Rhianka, and Baquara the Mighty I said hello."

For those that wondered after reading the previous chapter: yes, my dear gatekeeper Caw-Caw and the Bonita Salsa Dog, Reigna Rellena, do seem to legitimately be in love with one another--in a most Sacred Garden-ly sort of way. Honestly, I'm happy for them, and they indeed make such an adorable couple! Anyhoo, back to the story now:

By the time Gemini Cricket and I had finally woken up from our nap upon the Persian Rug, Van Halen's 1984 was playing quite loudly from near the garden gate, and we decided we should check on dear Caw-Caw and his new lovely Salsa Dog lover. Thankfully, they had finally stopped chugging cans of beer, but clearly they had already had too much. Just off to the side, we could see that Cousin Eddie's little cart had been completely emptied of beer cans, and we could hear lots of snoring coming from inside his little garage constructed of empty beer cans. It sounded like the snoring of a single Raven, along with the snoring of about 5 Poetic Waxwings.

Gemini Cricket (though I couldn't see him, of course) finally hopped off my shoulder and landed on dear Caw-Caw's back. Then he began to chirp at the proud Stellers Jay, though I couldn't comprehend a single word of his chirps.

Dear Caw-Caw could understand perfectly, as he replied, "Yes, you are muy rightly right of course, Gemini Cricket Cricket. You are siempre always right. You have my wordly, word--bonita Reigna Reigna Rellena and I have no intention of making this a habitly habit. We have muy learned an educating lesson."

While my gatekeeper and Gemini Cricket conversed, I took a few moments to welcome Reigna Rellena to our beloved Xanadu Forest and to assure her what a pleasure it would be to have her and her Los Poetic Waxwings here with us. I also explained to her that our county clerk's office had just become vacant, and that I believed it would suit their needs well. The lovely Salsa Dog was most appreciative, and asked if it would be okay if her new guapo chisto-bird could help get them settled into their new home. "Oh, that's a spectacular idea, lovely Reigna," I finally replied, then I gestured for Caw-Caw Carl to hop down from Achilles' Last Stand and walk with me to Cousin Eddie's beer can garage.

"Gemini Cricket Cricket says he will stay at Achilles' Last Stand stand and gatekeepingly gatekeep for me," dear Caw-Caw spoke, "because he says you will needly need to talk to me me."

"Yes, my dear Caw-Caw, he is most wise," I replied, and continued, "We need to wake Cousin Eddie and Los Poetic Waxwings, and we all need to head over to the Sacred Pub. After that, you can help get Reigna Rellena and her bandaleros situated in the old county clerk's office."

"Oh, pardon me, Kev Kev, but we have already hadly had too much too drink I muy believe," dear Caw-Caw protested. "I'm not surely sure the Sacred Pub is such a muy goodly idea."

"It is the perfect idea right now, my dear gatekeeper--the ONLY idea, in fact," I replied. "You see, my dear Caw-Caw, they have a magical drink there called After Ale--it's the only place in our beloved forest where you can get it. Though it does contain trace amounts of alcohol in it, it magically makes one completely sober almost immediately...after one drinks it, of course. You guys might all need a couple of them each this time...you had quite a sun and moon greeting!"

"Oh, indeedly indeed, Mr. Kev Kev! But it was so muy fantastically fun," dear Caw-Caw spoke. He continued, "And thank you you for letting me have my muy momently moment. I will muy chisto enjoy showing my bonita Reigna Reigna Rellena the old county clerk's office. They will likely like it very much! And you know what, Kev Kev? I had no no idea love felt so nicely nice mismo this. I'm so happy happy."

"Well I'm happy for you, my dear gatekeeper. Enjoy it," I replied, and tapped him lovingly on the beak a couple of times. "Come on, let's get these borachos moving, huh?" Dear Caw-Caw chuckled...I'm guessing because he was enjoying that we were all finding Reigna Rellena's Pigeon Spanish a bit contagious. Certainly it was fun and adorable.

We did finally manage to get everyone rounded up and heading over toward the Sacred Pub somehow. Dear Caw-Caw and Reigna Rellena were so cute to watch, walking side by side, stride for stride, surrounded on the rear by a semi-circle of stumbling Los Poetic Waxwings. There was a true--but unique--regality to the whole affair, it felt, and it made Cousin Eddie and I smile at each other warmly. Gemini Cricket had kindly agreed to stay behind and gatekeep for us while we were away...or so dear Caw-Caw told me. It occurred to me, just that instant, that this is the first time Caw-Caw Carl had been away from his invisible friend and mentor, Gemini Cricket. "My, how he is blossoming!" I believed I had said silently to myself.

I was wrong again, of course, as Cousin Eddie simply replied, "Indubitably," and he stumbled and wobbled his way to the front door of the Sacred Pub, and held the door open for us all.

Once our whole gang was inside, I did a headcount to make sure no one was left behind, and Cousin Eddie wasted no lack of time at all in ordering rounds of After Ale for everyone except for Kev. Olga the bartender kindly and quickly obliged, though she couldn't help but inquire, "You aren't bringing me trouble, are you Kev? I've had a long sun-greeting already, and I'm not in the mood for your foolishness."

"No, no, my dear Olga," I instantly replied, and extended my finger for a finger hug from her [No one gives finger hugs like Olga! She's a feisty and tough one, but a bigger heart cannot be found anywhere in all of the existences, I assure you, dear reader. Just don't piss her off!] Once Olga had poured the last After Ale, she returned to my corner of the bar so that we could further converse. I explained to her about Reigna Rellena and Los Poetic Waxwings...that they would be staying in our beloved Xanadu Forest permanently at the old county clerk's office, where their band could rehearse and possibly give Salsa dance lessons.

Cousin Eddie the Raven hopped up on a stool next to me and began chugging a second After Ale. "They're good people, Olga," he exclaimed. "I can vouch for them personally."

"Oh!" Olga exclaimed. "So you're into band management now, are you, blackbird? You all show up needing After Ales just like that--not even a moon-greeting since their arrival. Sounds like winners all around, eh? Sounds like a lot of foolishness waiting to invade my pub."

While Cousin Eddie and Olga the bartender fairy continued their chatter, I drifted off to check on dear Caw-Caw and Reigna Rellena, who were now foreleg in wing in front of the jukebox and discussing the best songs with the word "Love" in the title. T-Yay the Record Retriever and his bestie, Ptolemy the Gentle Boxer, were standing back awkwardly, staring at the jukebox, and wondering if they'd ever get the chance to pick a few songs. I greeted the two canines pleasantly, then introduced them to Reigna Rellena. I winked at Ptolemy the Gentle Boxer, and he used the brief distraction as an opportunity to select some Bachman-Turner Overdrive songs. Off in the distance, and to our right, I could see some of the Poetic Waxwings shooting pool, and other of the Poetic Waxwings shooting darts. Apparently this wasn't their first Los rodeo. I continued scanning the bar, as T-Yay and Reigna Rellena discussed their favorite rare record pressings by The Damned. My dear Caw-Caw finally interrupted them to proudly announce that they would have their own turntable inside the old county clerk's office, as well as a "top top notch vintagely vintage sound system." Insecurity is apparently universal, I silently observed. Most graciously, T-Yay, ever the gentleman, passed on the opportunity to offer Reigna Rellena use of just about any record album she could ever name...since he was, of course, the proprietor of our own beloved Record Emporium. The Record Retriever was looking out for my dear insecure gatekeeper, I could feel it. And it felt very nice nice. Our beloved Xanadu Forest is such a lovely place indeed!

Rooted in insecurity, though it may well have been, my dear Caw-Caw had raised a valid point: we still needed to introduce Reigna Rellena to Olga the bartender fairy. We did so, and it was a most happy occasion.

"Blackbird, here tells me you have a talented salsa band," Olga began. "Though I could use some foolishness around here, I'm not sure salsa music would go over well with the clientele here. I'm sorry."

"Salsa musica?!!!" Reigna Rellena exclaimed. "Whatever gave you that pendejo idea, Papi?" the feisty bonita Salsa Dog further exclaimed, burning a stare into Cousin Eddie's little Raven eyes.

Cousin Eddie set down his 3rd flagon of After Ale and shrugged his wings, "Well, the dress. The Salsa dress...and you told Caw-Caw you are a dancer. I just assumed..."

"You know what assuming gets you, pendejo Papi?" Reigna Rellena went on, and she began chugging the After Ale he had just set down on the bar in front of him. "Yes, we can bailando muy bueno for sure, blackbird, but we don't play Salsa music. Remember los combat boots, pendejo? Look!" And she pointed down to her combat boots. And Cousin Eddie sheepishly looked down at them. "And look again! We play rock and metal musica, pendejo!" And Cousin Eddie looked down at her combat boots again, but not so sheepishly this time.

Before Cousin Eddie could apologize for his foolish assumption, Olga the bartender fairy broke in and spared him the embarrassment, "I'm glad to hear that, Reigna Rellena. Salsa dancing to rock and metal...now this is exactly the sort of foolishness I can use around here. You're hired! However moon-greetings you'd like." Then Olga poured two shots of Twilight Shimmer--one for herself, and one for Caw-Caw's beloved bonita Salsa Dog.

Bartender fairy and Salsa Dog clinked their shot glasses together, sucked down the magical whiskey, and smiled. "Oh, thank you so muy muy much, lovely Olga," Reigna Rellena almost shouted. "We will not disappoint. You are even more simpatico than Kev hablas you are."

Olga smiled, "Don't push it, Toots." Then she laughed, and we all laughed too. When the laughter subsided, the bartender fairy finished, "You and your bandaleros get all the Minute Meads and Second Sodas you want on the house...when you play. Midnight Shimmers and Twilight Shimmers are half price...again, when you play. After Ales are always free to anyone who needs them, but I'm trusting you won't need them too often, if you get my drift."

"Oh yes, si, lovely Olga!" Reigna Rellena exclaimed. "We will not need After Ales very muy often, you have my palabra. You are bastante generous, bonita bartender fairy. We take our musica very seriously. Thank you gracias, once again."

Then Olga flew over to Reigna Rellena's ear and whispered inside it, "One last thing--and this is between me and you: you break that Stellers Jay's heart, and I break your face. He's very special to me. Comprende?" Salsa Dog nodded understandingly, and Olga added, "You are not the only feisty one here. Be nice, and we will get along muy wel. And you and your bandaleros will always be welcome here." Then Olga flew back over behind the bar and poured a Twilight Shimmer for herself and Regina Rellena. They toasted and winked at one another knowingly. And downed their magical whiskey in unison.

I was about to order a round of Minute Meads for everyone to celebrate the new official Sacred Pub house band, Reigna Rellena & Los Poetic Waxwings, when a most sudden and troubling interruption fell upon us.

Bahroz the Brown Bear rushed in through the Sacred Pub's front door, yanked me off my stool, and held me standing with his massive arms as he spoke, "Kev, you have to come outside right away. It's bad...I'm sorry. A dragon...big, big dragon. Not Justin or Douglas. Hurry!"

Before I had the chance to process any of the multitude of thoughts that raced through my mind--and without knowing exactly how I even arrived there--I found myself standing before the largest dragon I have ever seen. Justin and Douglas, the dragon life-partners, would look to be but younglings in the presence of this mighty dragon...and they are by no means small or un-mighty.

"I didn't wish to frighten you, Kev, but I'm afraid this is most urgent--and there is no lack of time for questions right now," the great and mighty dragon bellowed. "I am Adamna Comnandra, of the Comnandrai. You must come with me now to hold council with my brothers and good King Midas LeBottom upon the top of Dew Mound." The great and mighty dragon lie down upon the ground and gestured for me to climb up onto his back.

"But," I stammered. "I'm confused."

"I will explain on our flight to Dew Mound," the great and mighty Dragon replied. "Please, we must go now. War may well be upon your lands."

My heart sank deeply. My first thought was of dear Caesar Emeritus, and how he should be joining me on this journey. "Great and mighty Adamna Comnandra, may I please bring our dear Ceasar Emeritus with us? He is in the Library Tree now. I can have him here very quickly. My heart speaks loudly that he will be a tremendous service at the council. I will not feel comfortable without him."

"Yes, Kev, that is a good thought from your heart," the great and mighty dragon replied. "But DO hurry...hurry like you've never hurried before, for lack of time is of the essence."

To be continued in Chapter 45
Thank you, dear readers, for joining me on this journey.
Life is still beautiful beautiful.
We love you. Semba.

Kev
XX

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Chapter 43: Gatekeepers' First Gatekeeping: Reigna Rellena & The Poetic Waxwings

1/20/2019

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I have a special friend on Twitter who likes to tease me about how I always begin my chapters with introductions that are too long, then I apologize for doing so, then explain in my apology, "...but it was necessary." So just for dear Blossom, which is what we call this special Twitter friend, I'm going to attempt to begin this chapter with what is likely the shortest introduction I've ever begun with in these stories (I'm not counting this paragraph as part of the introduction, since it's technically an introduction to the upcoming official introduction):

Despite what many people say, not ALL dogs go to heaven when they die. Some dogs, who are particularly blessed to have particularly lovely owners, are sent to my Sacred Garden gate by their respective lovely owners...once their time in the earthly realm has come to an end. Once approved by myself, my gatekeeper, and, of course, Edwin the Bee, the blessed canine is sort of "resurrected" in our beloved Xanadu Forest, renamed, and given a purpose and a place to live eternally with us. Currently, we have 3 such lovely dogs that have become our dear friends:

1.Caesar, who was sent to us by his dear mama Chiamimi, and is now Dear Caesar Emeritus, the Baloo-eyed Akita, who lives inside the Library Tree, and is our librarian, of course. He has also become an expert on the ancient Xanaduvian language, and he gives me homework packets so that I, too, am learning the language of my imaginary ancestors (by adoption).

2.Tyson, who was sent to us by his dear mama T-Gee, and is now Ptolemy the Gentle Boxer. Ptolemy lives in the Record Emporium, and is the inventor of the now mostly famous Ptolemy-ce Cream, which he sells in front of the Record Emporium every sun-greeting. New flavors added all the time. It's delicious and highly addictive, of course.

3.Tyson, who was sent to us by his dear mama Jojo, and is now T-Yay, the black Labrador Retriever. T-Yay lives with Ptolemy the Gentle Boxer inside the Record Emporium. The two of them have become very close friends, and are almost never seen separately in our beloved Xanadu Forest. T-Yay is an expert on all forms of music appreciation, but vinyl is his specialty. Indeed, T-Yay is the greatest record-finder in all the lands, and it is said that he can smell quality vinyl from several miles away. T-Yay wears a black leather cabby hat, and often has a brown leather record satchel slung over his shoulder. The satchel always contains acorns/pumpernickel (official currencies used throughout my imaginary lands of Interterrestria) for used record purchases, and at least one bag of Skittles candy. And, if T-Yay has has just returned from a successful record-buying trip, the leather satchel will be filled with quality vinyl, of course...for which we will all exclaim, "Nice, nice!"

As you might have guessed, our beloved Xanadu Forest is about to be blessed with its 4th eternal canine friend, sent to us kindly by Juju. I apologize that this introduction was longer than I intended...but it was necessary. Anyway, on with the story:

"Hola, Pajaro! My nombre is Reigna Rellena, and I was sent here by my mamacita, Queen Juju of the flying city. And this is my bandaleros, Los Poetic Waxwings." Then the lovely small dog, adorned in a most fabulous red salsa dress--and combat boots--turned and pointed at her "bandaleros" one by one, and continued, "Robin, Tobin, Bobin, Nobin, Dobin, and Jimi. They are all very simpatico and will give you no problemas at all, you have my word. We are to habla with someone named Kev."

Now, this was dear Caw-Caw Carl's very first sun-greeting as the official gatekeeper of my Sacred Garden gate, and the poor Stellers Jay found himself a bit more than frozen with fear. Much as he had practiced and prepared himself for just this moment, it seemed that all he had learned had fluttered away into the beyond. Indeed, poor Caw-Caw had even temporarily forgotten how to speak. The only sign of life he was expressing at all was a slight trembling of his wings. Reigna Rellena and her Poetic Waxwings looked up at the Stellers Jay with confusion, then they all turned and shrugged their shoulders at one another.

After a few moments, Caw-Caw's invisible friend and mentor, Gemini Cricket, finally spoke to the frozen Stellers Jay, "It's okay, dear Caw-Caw. I will go get Kev. Just relax. Breathe. You worked very hard, and you know how to do this. For now, just tell them, 'Hello' before they give up and run away. They are nice people, see? It's okay, Caw-Caw." Reigna Rellena and her bandaleros couldn't hear Gemini Cricket, of course.

Dear Caw-Caw unfroze, but was still very rigid when he finally managed to speak, "Yes. Yes. Kev Kev. Hello, hi."

"You funny talk, chisto-bird," Reigna Rellena laughed, and she added by way of comfort (and the little salsa dog stepped closer to him) but it's okay, chisto-bird, because you are very guapo. What's your nombre, guapo chisto-bird?"

"Umm...Kev Kev," Caw-Caw replied after a slight delay. Then the Stellers Jay went on, "Hello, hi. I mean no, no, not Kev Kev. Gemini Cricket Cricket? Hello? Hi?" Reigna Rellena and the Poetic Waxwings didn't realize, of course that poor Caw-Caw was begging for help from his invisible friend and mentor Gemini Cricket...or from Kev...or from anyone else that could possibly offer assistance.

Enter my Sacred Garden soulmate, cousin Eddie the Raven, who is always ready to save the day. Cousin Eddie cracked open a can of beer, chugged it down, and tossed one to Reigna Rellena, who immediately cracked hers open and chugged it down. Cousin Eddie finally spoke, "Welcome to the heart of our beloved Xanadu Forest, Kev's Sacred Garden gate. Kev will be here shortly. I'm Cousin Eddie." Then my soulmate pulled out a cart full of canned beer from next to his little garage made of beer cans, and wheeled it toward the Poetic Waxwings. All 5 of the bandaleros gratefully removed a can of beer and begun chugging and toasting. Cousin Eddie grabbed another can for himself and toasted, and continued speaking, "You'll have to forgive our dear friend, Caw-Caw Carl. Today is his very first sun-greeting as Kev's gatekeeper, and I'm afraid he's a bit rattled. He'll snap out of it, I'm sure. I love your salsa dress, little dog, and your combat boots too!"

"I may be little, cerveza bird, but I am fierce, papi!" Reigna Rellena shouted, then she lowered her voice and continued, "My nombre is Reigna Rellena...this is my bandaleros Los Poetic Waxwings. It's muy nice to meet you. I tengo an idea, if it's okay?" the fierce little dog asked, as she winked at Cousin Eddie and dug two more cans of beer out of the cart.

Cousin Eddie winked back at her knowingly, and gave a quick, sideways nod of his head in Caw-Caw Carl's direction. "Indubitably," my soulmate replied, then he sauntered off and began chatting with the Poetic Waxwings. It took less than one more beer for them all to decide this was the beginning of a most wonderful alliance. Even the word "collaboration" had been tossed about a few times, already.

By this time, Reigna Rellena had already run comfortably inside the Sacred Garden gate and hopped up onto Achilles' Last Stand (the gateeper's desk) and set the two cans of beer down, right in front of Caw-Caw Carl's beak. He didn't flinch. She shifted her little fierce salsa dog's body right next to the Stellers Jay's body, and she began stroking his feathers gently with her paw. "Aww, my guapo chisto-bird, don't be afraid. I am only fierce to cabrones that deserve it. You are muy nice, I can tell. I gusto you mucho already, my guapo chisto-bird."

Poor Caw-Caw's trembling increased, and he was still unable to turn his head in the fierce little salsa dog's direction. In a panic, he finally spoke, "Funny talk. Yes. Kev Kev. No no, I mean not. Hello, hi."

"Ohh, muy guapo chisto-bird, you are so much adorable," Reigna Rellena replied, as she wrapped her little paws around him and squeezed the shaking Stellers Jay tight. "Maybe I amor you. Si, I think that I do. If you're going to shake, then we will shake together. Okay, guapo? I am muy bien at shaking, you know. I am a dancer."

Caw-Caw Carl's shaking finally subsided to the subtlest of trembles, and he was finally able to look Reigna Rellena in the eyes. "Dancer dancer?" he asked her softly.

"I'm all wrong," Reigna Rellena smiled, and she began gently stroking the feathers on top of his head.

Caw-Caw finally stopped trembling altogether, and he smiled, and spoke, "Mother Mother Love Bone band band! Stargazer gazer, yes! And Gentle, yes, Gentle Groove. That is Kev Kev's favorite by them. And fierce, fierce little salsa dog dog, thank you YOU. You are very nice nice." Then the new gatekeeper's body finally relaxed completely, and he wrapped his wing around Reigna Rellena, and smiled again, and continued, "But you you really do funny talk talk, you know. Like me, me. I like that that."

Reigna Rellena smiled softly into Caw-Caw's eyes, and stroked his wing most gently. "You are muy welcome, my guapo chisto-bird." Then she cracked open the two cans of beer that were beneath the Stellers Jay's beak, and handed one of them to him as she spoke, "Cousin Eddie hablas me that this is your very first gatekeeping. I am so muy honored to be your first. And ahora we must toast, because I know you will be the muy best gatekeeper ever. Okay, my guapo?"

"More more than okay, my muy muy bonita!" Caw-Caw exclaimed, then they raised their cans as high as they could reach into the sky (not very high, by our standards, of course) and they clunked them most joyously. "Here here, here here!" The Stellers Jay toasted, with a newfound sense of confidence and pride. And they both chugged them down muy quickly.

Though Caw-Caw Carl was unaware, Cousin Eddie had been keeping an eye on him during the entire exchange, even as he was chugging beers and talking shop with the bandaleros. No sooner had Caw-Caw and Reigna Rellena tossed their empty cans into the sky, than my Sacred Garden soulmate had delivered 4 more cans of beer to the top of Achilles' Last Stand...of which, the Stellers Jay and the fierce little salsa dog most thoroughly enjoyed.

By now, the reader might wonder where Gemini Cricket and I were. We were actually hiding off in the distance, in the bushes, looking on with joy and fascination. See, I had been sleeping deeply upon my Persian rug when Reigna Rellena and her Poetic Waxwings arrived. Gemini Cricket came to wake me, as he had told Caw-Caw Carl he would do. I couldn't see Gemini Cricket, of course, but I could hear him...and though I can't speak cricket yet, I instinctively knew he was calling me to my Sacred Garden gate. "This IS truly the age of Knew Application!" I exclaimed silently in my mind. This very moment, for the first time, I also considered how lovely this all really was. I was getting two gatekeepers for the price of one. Not that I pay them, mind you.

By the time we return our attention once again to dear Caw-Caw and Reigna Rellena upon Achilles' Last Stand, the 4 additional cans of beer that Cousin Eddie had brought them had already been chugged and tossed into the sky...and now there were yet more cans of beer they were enjoying together, and Van Halen's "Women And Children First" album was playing at a moderate volume from Cousin Eddie's turntable. Cousin Eddie's and the Poetic Waxwings' voices were not at such a moderate volume now, and it seems that my Sacred Garden soulmate had replenished his cart with countless cans of beer. Stellers Jay and Salsa Dog were now leaning back upon Achilles' Last Stand, swaying gently, wing and paw draped around one another's bodies. Stars twinkling in their eyes.

Gemini Cricket and I, from our secret vantage point, decided it was still too soon for us to interrupt the apparent revelry. "After all," we considered, "It's Caw-Caw's big day. His first official gatekeeping. Besides, I haven't seen my soulmate, Cousin Eddie, this joyous in many a sun and moon-greeting." Gemini Cricket agreed. So we listened on, especially to Stellers Jay and Salsa Dog's conversation:

"So do you have a namely name for your funny funny talk, mi amor?" starry-eyed Caw-Caw asked Reigna Rellena.

"Si, my guapo chisto-bird amor," she began, then answered, "It is called Pigeon Spanish."

"So your parently parents are Hispanically Hispanic, mi amor?" Caw-Caw continued, and cracked open another can of beer.

Reigna Rellena cracked open her can of beer as well, and replied, "No, guapo, chisto-chisto-bird, my mi amor, I learned it from the pigeons in the courtyard of my mamacita's house in the flying city. I muy like pigeonly pigeons. What do you call your funny funny talk?"

Caw-Caw carl tightened his warm embrace of the lovely, feisty, Salsa Dog at his side, and lifted his proud face to the sky as he spoke, "It is call called 'Double Double Speak. I am the masterly master of it, you know know."

"Ohh, my chisto-amorely amor, that is so muy muy adorable," Reigna Rellena replied softly, and she gave proud Caw-Caw a little peck on the side of his beak. He blushed, of course, though we were unable to see it through is proud feathers. And there was nary a tremble from anyone within my Sacred Garden, that particular sun and moon-greeting.

I considered the fact that I was perhaps the only responsible being inside my Sacred Garden now-and perhaps from now on! That was a scary thought. Then Gemini Cricket chirped at me, and, though I still couldn't speak cricket, I understood him perfectly. He reminded me that Edwin the Bee is always with us, and that we would always be safe here. I smiled, and I could feel Gemini Cricket smiling too, though I couldn't see him, of course.

Then I heard my Father's voice inside my heart, "You know, My son, I actually enjoy you playing the fool. It's genuine, and you wear it well. If you interrupt their moment now, you would be too much a fool even for My enjoyment. Let them be them, as I have always allowed you to be you."

"I love You, Father. Semba. Thank you," I replied with my lips--but silently. Gemini Cricket and I returned to my Persian rug (though I couldn't see him, of course), and we took a nice long nap. We fell asleep to the sound of Van Halen's second album playing well off into the distance.

Thank you for joining me on this journey, dear readers.
Life is beautiful beautiful. Semba.
We love you.

Kev
XX

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Chapter 42: Sweet Mama Bbaesh & The Age Of Knew Application

1/16/2019

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Change is something I've never much cared for, though change itself may well remain the only unchangeable thing within the earthly realm. I'm not even particularly fond of positive change, though I must admit it's very much preferable to negative change...that is, during those rare moments when we're able to tell the difference.

One of the things I particularly dislike about change is how deceptive the word is: "Change" is a very nice and comfortable sounding word...soft, gentle, and easy on the ears. Very much UNlike the effects its actions have upon us. Perhaps "Chank" would be a better word for it--at least it would feel less deceptive to me that way. Honestly, though, that wouldn't help me like it any better.

I do believe I inherited my distaste for change from my Earth mother, and this is no insult. My Earth mother is without question the most perfect Earth mother I could ever have hoped for: filled with love, compassion, kindness, and a deep sense of empathy. And she gratefully taught me these things as well. So I am indeed a lucky dude, and will always be grateful to the best of my abilities. But see, Mom and I, we very much cherish order and routines in our lives. It's not uncommon for us to know what time we'll go to bed this coming Saturday, and what we'll have for lunch a week from Tuesday. We might even know weeks in advance when we'll be calling in sick to work. This system, of course, works perfectly...until change decides to invade our safe spaces again...which it has a terrible habit of doing with far too much regularity. Perhaps change enjoys its order and routines even better than Mom and I?An endless battle, it seems.

People, places, and objects come in and out of our lives all the time for any myriad reasons. Often we never even fully understand why they became a part of our lives to begin with, let alone why they left us--or even how. We can learn to accept this, yes, but it's rarely easy. And often tremendously scary--at least to people like Mom and I. The simple and tragic fact is that every single thing in our lives we've learned to cherish will someday no longer be a part of our lives--not in a material sense, anyway. We can't even hold on to memories, much as we try...for they often grow wings and flutter away into the beyond.

One of the reasons I began these stories so many years ago was to create a safe place inside my imagination that could never go away...a place that could only ever experience change if I decided to allow it--in my own time and way. I was mistaken once again, of course. My Sacred Garden stories have endured nearly as much change as the earthly realm, and often NOT in my own time and way. Much of it very painful, and undesired. Again, an endless battle. But not always sad...

You see, aside from my Earth mom, I also have a story mom--as the result of the comforts of my own imagination. Her name is Bbaesh, though I call her my Sweet Mama Bbaesh. ["Bbaesh" in the ancient Xanaduvian language translates into English as "Mother of Mankind"] She is based upon an earthly-realm-Twitter-friend that many of you know as Tawny Kitaen. Like my Earth Mom, she is filled with love, kindness, compassion, and a tremendous sense of empathy...and she has taught myself--and many others--all that and more. Again, I am so grateful. Sweet Mama Bbaesh always appears to me as a most beautiful lioness, adorned with the most gorgeous of glittery-silver robes. In actuality, though, in my stories, she is a changeling, and appears to any onlookers as whatever it is they would find most comforting to them.

Aside from being my story mom, Sweet Mama Bbaesh is, of course, the story spouse of my Father, Edwin the Bee...the very Edwin that rests upon His lotus flower next to my Sacred Garden gate. I am truly a most blessed child of Divine Love...and most gratefully grateful for that.

My Sweet Mama Bbaesh is also a bridge for me, which is so very important. She is a bridge between my earthly realm, and my story life. A bridge between my material intellect, and my sometimes overwhelming imagination. Without her presence in my imagination, I would sometimes confuse my story life with my earthly life...and one can imagine the problems this might cause in one's daily, earthly activities.

Anyway, it's finally time for me to re-enter my beloved Sacred Garden once again, after a lengthy and challenging hiatus. Read on to join me? Also, I apologize for the long-winded introduction to this chapter, but it was necessary. Working my way back into my story life after a lengthy absence is a difficult process. Edwin the Bee willing, I am back now. Indeed, the age of Knew Beginnings is behind us, and the age of Knew Application has begun. May it remain a most beautiful beautiful journey. Semba:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zejZ-gEf38k

I was sleeping most peacefully upon my Persian rug, in the heart of my Sacred Garden, Styx' Greatest Hits playing softly in the foreground, when she woke me. Though I could smell the scent of softly caramelized caramel, jasmine, and French vanilla, it was the gentle touch of a massive paw upon my hand that ultimately pulled me from my slumber...then a softly warm and comforting voice:

"Good moon-greeting, my beloved son," she spoke. Her breath was so like candy.

I rubbed my eyes open, and lifted my head slowly from the pillow, a violet glow now surrounding the entire Persian rug, and beyond. "Sweet Mama Bbaesh!" I finally exclaimed.

Mama Bbaesh lifted me to my feet quickly--but gently--with her massive paws, and she embraced me and tucked me inside her most glorious, glittery-silver robe. Her forelegs stroked my back so tenderly, and her silken mane fell most luxuriously upon my shoulders. Then she pushed me back just far enough so that she could look into my eyes, and she spoke, "Beautiful as ever, my son. Now come. A Knew age is upon us, and we must speak of deep and meaningful things." Sweet Mama Bbaesh took my hand inside her massive paw, turned us, and guided us down the path that leads to my sister, the River. "Have you forgotten about the glitter bulbs you and your most precious children planted? I know you know how to light them now. Please light our way, my son?"

Inspired, an ember deep inside my heart began to glow again, and I activated the glitter bulbs along the path that had now grown, blossomed, and glowed with the colors of many worlds. "Thank you for the reminder, Mama," I spoke softly. She squeezed my hand with her massive paw and smiled, as we continued down the path. Her violet aura had softened now in the light of the glitter blooms, and I wondered whether she had done so on purpose.

"Yes, my lovely son...and yes," she answered softly, though I hadn't asked out loud. "This is a segue into the conversation we must have now."

"The Knew Application?" I asked, and turned my head to look into her eyes.

"Indeed, my precious son," her eyes replied into mine, then her candy mouth exclaimed, "My how you've grown!" By then we had reached the bank of my sister the River, and my Sweet Mama Bbaesh sat down, and held me in her lap. She adjusted my body so that the back of my head rested upon her chest, and we both looked upon my sister the River. "You know, your Father and I are very proud of you. You've come such a long way," she breathed. Then my Mama Bbaesh stroked my hair with one of her massive paws, and used her other massive paw to point toward the reflection of the moon and stars upon my sister's flowing gown. "Now THAT is the dance, my son. The eternal dance. The most beautiful of dances there ever has been in any existence."

"Mmm, you are so right, Mama," I spoke, just above a whisper. I nestled myself deeper inside my Mama's glittery-silver robe, and absorbed the rhythm of her timeless heartbeat. Then I asked, "Mama? Why does my sister only speak to me in my sleep?"

"Because you don't listen when you're awake, my son," my Sweet Mama Bbaesh spoke. "Much as you've grown, you still have much to learn."

"The Knew Application, Mama?" I asked out loud.

"For one thing, yes," she replied. Then she embraced me tightly with her forearms, and kissed the back of my head as she continued, "Believing is one thing. You have that--and we're very proud of and happy for that! For many of your ages, that was enough. But now a Knew Age of Application is upon us all, and you're going to have to learn and do more. It's time for you to put your belief into action, my precious son. It's time for you to stop trying so hard to separate your imagination from your earthly life. And we both know what you're feeling. Always. Don't be afraid. Your Father and I love you even beyond your fantastic imagination, and we will never let you fall completely into the darkness of insanity."

Tears formed in the corners of my eyes, and I turned and looked into my Sweet Mama Bbaesh's eyes, and spoke softly, "I believe you, Mama. And I love you so much." Then I fell face-forward into her glittery-silver robe, and tried to wrap my arms around her (though my arms were simply too short, of course), and I cried. Good tears. The very best of tears.

My Sweet Mama Bbaesh stood, and picked me up in her massive forelegs, pressed my head softly upon her shoulder, and stroked my hair again with her massive paw. She turned us round, and began walking us back to my Persian rug, still carrying me with seemingly no effort at all. Finally she spoke, "Your sister the River is speaking to you now. Can you hear what she is saying?"

I finally stopped crying, and began to smile, "Yes, Mama, I can hear her. She says that I must never tire of being reborn."

And then I heard another familiar voice from Mama Bbaesh's other shoulder, "Your sister is very wise, My son. She is by far the least foolish of My children. I'm glad you are finally listening to her."

And I lifted my head, and turned it--and there He was!--my Father, Edwin the Bee, sighing and pushing up His little bee glasses. "I love you, Father. Thank You," I more than whispered.

"I love you too, My son," Edwin the Bee spoke to me, as my Sweet Mama Bbaesh lie me down gently upon my Persian rug, and kissed me upon my little forehead with her candy mouth. I don't remember falling back asleep that particular moon greeting. I can only recall waking up again.

Thank you all for joining me on this journey.
Eternally grateful.
Eternally blessed.
I love you.

Semba.

KeV
XX

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Chapter 41b: Shelellabee, Rhianka, And The Wayward Son: A Sacred Pub Soliloquy Part II

10/1/2018

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I love Love. I often find myself in love with Love itself, and I am almost always, at the very least, crushing on it in some way or another. Occasionally my love for Love itself is projected on to other people, places, and even things--and this has gotten me into trouble a time or two in the past. But for the most part, by far, my love for Love has served me more well than I have deserved at various points in my life.

You see, Love is simple. It is only ever complicated if and when we make a choice to make it such. Philosophers for thousands of years have attempted to make Love complicated, and they've done a tremendous job of this in many ways. They have spoken of 4 Loves, and sometimes even more. It's only natural, of course, to believe that we Love different people, places, and things in different ways. But that is the way of the world..not the way of MY world. Not my perfect world, anyway...which truly exists in a secret and sacred place deep inside my heart. In my perfect world, you see, all existence came about by way of Love, and remains unto eternity by way of Love. One does not Love more or less...one simply Loves or does not. That I love my children takes absolutely nothing away from my Love for myself, for my neighbor, for my higher powers, for humanity, nature, or even nachos and beer. In fact, I can Love them all simultaneously without causing pain or harm to any of them...so long as my focus remains upon the all-powerful Love itself. If I have brought about pain or harm to any of them, then at some point I have made a choice to live outside of Love itself, and will undoubtedly pay the price for straying.

And then there is this thing mankind created which is called Loyalty. Loyalty is lovely as a concept, but in all honesty, I am no fan of it. Loyalty is anything but simple, and has caused me more troubles than anything else in this existence that I can think of. You see, where Love is unifying by nature, Loyalty is naturally divisive. It is, in effect, an ultimatum. Unlike Love, in my opinion, there are countless different forms of Loyalty: Loyalty to one's self, to one's higher powers, to one's friends and family, to one's employer, religion, philosophy, science, sports team, nation, race, city, culture, organization of any myriad kind, music, literature, cuisine, finances, and so on and so on. There is even this particularly strange idea of Loyalty to Loyalty itself.

Now, life goes along just fine for most of us until different Loyalties collide--which they often do, unfortunately. If I've explained this well enough, dear reader, your mind is now bursting with several examples as to how this happens in so many different ways nearly every single day of our lives. So often we find ourselves in the sticky position of choosing one Loyalty over another Loyalty, and I believe this is where most of our troubles begin. We attempt to "weigh" the Loyalties, and use this measurement to make our decisions that affect the lives of literally everyone and everything in all the universes. In mundane, trivial situations this is no big deal [for example, being a Chicago Cubs fan, I despise the St. Louis Cardinals...but sometimes I have to hope the Cardinals win if it will help my Cubs make it into the playoffs. I am temporarily betraying Loyalty to myself and my team in this case, because I have decided that my Loyalty to my team making the playoffs is more important in the long run.] But, unfortunately, many of the Loyalty collisions we experience in this life are far more serious, with far more serious ramifications. I hope dear reader, that I've made this clear, because it's time we finally return to the story. Though I've been long-winded again (I excel at this!), you will shortly see why such an introduction was needed.

If, by chance, you have not read Part I of this chapter, I highly recommend you do so now, otherwise you are certain to be thoroughly confused. Here is a direct link to it, in case you might enjoy indulging further:

chapter-41-shelelabee-rhianka-and-the-wayward-son-a-sacred-pub-soliloquy.html
*It will open in a new window, if you click on it.

What I had hoped would be a soliloquy had already turned into a "dueliloquy" when Moonshine Superman bolted out from inside the stall of the Sacred Pub restroom and shattered my solace. And, of course, all hopes of keeping it limited to a semi-peaceful "dueliloquy" were dashed when Rhianka the bartender fairy met us in the hallway of the Sacred Pub, attempting an escape plan. And so this is how the unintended and undesired "trililoquy" mostly went about:

Rhianka: Oh, hi boys! You must be Mr. Kev. Olga has told me so many things about you--most of it
really nice. It's nice to meet you. I'm Rhi--

Me: Rhianka! Olga has told me ONLY nice things about you. And yes, I'm Mr.--I mean, just...call me Kev. Very nice to meet you!

[Then I extended my index finger, which is a customary greeting between humanoid and fairy, and Rhianka game me a lovely finger hug]

Rhianka: And if I'm not mistaken, this jingly fellow with you is the gentleman that was booted from
the Sacred Pub a few moon-greetings ago for lighting off fireworks inside the pub. But it
seems you're leading him in the wrong direction...the door is well behind you.

Wayward Son: Well, I am an Otterman, yes, but not the Otterman you are thinking of, Rhianka. At
least not anymore.

Me: What he means to say, I think, fabulous Rhianka, is that he has turned over a new leaf.
He is a super hero now...Moonshine Superman. See, he doesn't even have his
backpack with him!

Wayward Son: Oh, you're right! I left it in the bathroom stall! Thank you for reminding me of that, Kev!
I'll be needing that later for sure--but not for here, of course.

[Then Moonshine Superman removed himself from my gentle grip of his shoulders, and turned as if to return to the restroom. Rhianka's pleasant smile turned instantly into a lovely scowl, and I spun the super hero back around (less gently than before) and held him firmly in front of me]

Rhianka: Well in any case, he can't be in here, Mr.--I mean, Kev--and I'm about inclined to stop believing that you have any intention of turning him into Olga...if you get my drift. I will
not betray my loyalty to her. She is like a mother to me, you know.

Me: No, of course I would never ask you to betray your loyalty to her. Nor would I wish to
betray my loyalty to Olga, or the loyalty she has always so kindly shown ME.

Wayward Son: But what about loyalty to ME, Kev? I thought we were friends.

Rhianka: And you, Mr. Moonshine Superman, did Kev bring you into the Sacred Pub with him?

Wayward Son: No, I came in through the ventilation shaft on the roof, as any good super hero
would do!

Rhianka: And so it seems to me you have already betrayed your loyalty to your friend Kev,
since you have now involved him in your betrayal of Olga, and the rules of the
entire Sacred Pub, and all its patrons. You wish that your friend would be booted
from the Sacred Pub along with you? That would be loyalty to you?!

[I found it impossible not to smile as I listened on to Rhianka's lecture, though I was glad that Moonshine Superman was facing the other way and could not see it. What a lovely bartender fairy Rhianka is! No wonder Olga had hired her. I'm not sure if it was Rhianka's perfect mannerisms, or the anxiety of the situation itself, but I had nearly forgotten my crush on the other lovely bartender fairy, Shelellabee. Yes, even in the midst of difficult situations, my mind tends to wander into unintended places.]

Wayward Son: Well, no. Of course not. I would never want Kev to get booted from the Sacred Pub.
But he's done nothing wrong. Olga's not going to boot him.

Rhianka: You don't know that, Mr. Moonshine Superman! Harboring--or "un-harboring" as the case may be--a fugitive inside the Sacred Pub is a very serious offense. Very likely to get Kev
booted indeed.

Me: You are so kind, wise, and understanding, fabulous Rhianka. Can I just add that I really
do consider Moonshine Superman to be my friend? Even if he's not loyal to me?

Rhianka: Of course, Kev. That's very kind and honorable of you. You know, we have a saying in
our beloved Lustra, land of the fairies: "The greatest Loyalty of all is Loyalty to the
Truth itself." If you get my drift? So, Mr. Moonshine Superman, what say you? And, fabulous
Kev, you are now my friend, too. I'm glad we met.

[A tear or two streamed down Moonshine Superman's cheek, and he turned and hugged me. And I hugged him. And we told each other that we loved one another. It was a beautiful beautiful moment indeed.]

Moonshine Superman: Come on Kev, let's go turn me in, my friend. And thank you, lovely Rhianka for
being so kind and helpful to both of us. For what it's worth, I will always think
of you as a friend too, though I'll likely never see you again. You are wise and
precious in so many ways, Rhianka. I'm glad we met.

[Then fabulous Rhianka smiled warmly, approached Moonshine Superman, and gave him a tight finger hug. Then she looked up and pointed behind us, as our "trililoquy" suddenly became the most beautiful beautiful "quadriloquy" there perhaps ever was.]

Olga: Consider yourselves turned in, you troublesome boys...and stop looking at my Rhianka
all sweet like that! She's MY Rhianka, and you know the rules. Mr. Kev, are you willing to
vouch that your friend is, in fact, Moonshine Superman the super hero, and NOT Dwight
Otterman, the Wayward Son?

Me: If you will allow me to just perform the swiftest of ceremonies, dear Olga, then I will
gladly vouch for him as such. Graciously, and with honor. For he is my friend.

Olga: Don't be getting all weird and wordy about it, Mr. Kev...just get on with it!

[I nodded solemnly, and the Wayward Son knelt down in front of me for the last and only time. I reached down and lifted up his chin, so that we could look into each other's eyes. The entire Sacred Pub fell silent.]

Me: As the son of the Creator, Founder, and true Sustenance of our beloved Xanadu Forest, and
with all authority that goes with it, I hereby dub thee Sir Moonshine Superman, super hero,
and protector of our blessed lands. Heretofore shall you never again be known by any other
name.

Olga: And heretofore does that blasted backpack stay behind the bar with ME...any and ALL times
Mr. Moonshine Superman is inside my Sacred Pub. No exceptions! Ever! And on this
momentous--or whatever fancy word occasion Mr. Kev and his strange ilk would call it--I'd like
to introduce everyone in the bar to a new strong drink we're going to be serving, called
"Midnight Shimmer.' It's a strong one. You've been warned. Kev, and Mr. Moonshine
Superman: I believe you've got a bell to ring! Lets get those acorns rolling, you trouble-
makers.

With that, the entire contents of Olga's Sacred Pub shouted with thunderous joy, and many fists rose triumphantly into the air. And the happily happy mob rumbled its way toward the bar proper in search of Midnight Shimmer. And did they ever find it indeed! And the new jukebox did finally play on...and on, for what felt beautifully as though it could be a blissful eternity. There were more hugs and finger hugs and silly dances than I could have ever imagined in a single moon-greeting. In a word, it felt like Love. Just pure, beautiful, sweet Love. Through and trough, within and without us all.

When all was done and said, fabulous Olga found a quiet moment, so that I could thank her again for the kindness she has always shown me, and I was able to assure her I would never take it for granted. I couldn't promise her that I would never make trouble, of course, since Kev's like me excel at causing mischief--though it is always unintended. She finger hugged me, and even gave me a sweet fairy kiss upon my cheek. Then she reminded me once more to stop looking at her fairies like that, and we shared a toast--just Olga and I. And Midnight Shimmer, of course.

Life is so beautiful beautiful!

You know I love all of you, dear fabulouses, and am so grateful to have you along for this crazy journey we call life...

But tonight, a very special I love you to all the new and kind friends that have welcomed me into my now real life Sacred Pub. Many of you will find places in future chapters, my heart knows this.

And to my knew brother, Dwight. I won't forget.

I love you.
KeV
XX

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Chapter 41a: Shelelabee, Rhianka, And The Wayward Son: A Sacred Pub Soliloquy Part I

9/19/2018

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Many of you know that I've been working furiously on my Xanaduvian language homework of late, and also that I've been enjoying working on it while attending the Sacred Pub of late. This has done wonders for my productivity, as it turns out, but also has brought about some unintended consequences. Before I get too wrapped up in this chapter, however, I should back up a bit and bring you up to speed on goings-on in my Sacred Garden...

Firstly, my beautiful gatekeeper Madeleine, the albino Peacok (Peahen), still has not returned from teaching yoga classes with her guru, Sugaldo Smada...I can only assume, at this point, that she has run off with him. I do not blame, her, of course. She was destined for such things. Always I shall love her and wish her the very best of all things.

Secondly, and somewhat awkwardly, the faithful, helpful, gorgeous, and intelligent Turtle, Dee-Dee, has been sort of filling in as my interim gatekeeper until we can find a permanent solution. Not that this was ever discussed or even implied, mind you. Not initially, at least. Dee-Dee just sort of fell into the role, and it's been working fabulously. Dee-Dee and I have even discovered that we can communicate telepathically--indeed over great distances--and so we've been able to abandon the modified Casio calculator watch communicators that Madeleine and I had been using. All in all, all things in my Sacred Garden have been streamlined and simplified once again, and this feels very, very nice. Also, all of the intercom systems that had been installed throughout my beloved Xanadu Forest have been deactivated, dismantled, and altogether obliterated so that I can rest most assuredly, knowing they will never again be reactivated. And finally, there are no longer lengthy garden gate activity logs for me to sign-off on each sun-greeting. As to the awkward part? Well, having loved and lost two wonderful gatekeepers at this point, a part of me is terrified of losing a third one. We all know well there are no guarantees in life, of course. Such promises should never be made. Fullest intention, yes, but a promise, no.

See, the only gatekeepers I have had heretofore have been based upon real life beings in my earthly life...and Dee-Dee the gorgeous and intelligent Turtle is also based upon an actual human being I know upon Earth. So I had suggested to Dee-Dee that my dear Caw Caw Carl, the Stellers Jay, my assistant to the assistant in the county clerk's office, had been training himself for just such an occasion as we are now experiencing. I explained further to Dee-Dee that ultimately he would be my eternal gatekeeper, for this was the intention long before she came into my life. Caw Caw Carl, you see, is not based upon any earthly being I have ever known--he is purely a creation of my own imagination, and, therefore, I never need to fear him leaving me. Dee-Dee the gorgeous and intelligent Turtle was understandably stung by this, despite my kindest and warmest intentions. I assured her she remains inside my Sacred Garden for as long as she wishes to stay--in any capacity it may end up being. I should add, dear reader, that as much as Dee-Dee and I love one another and share a deep and intimate connection, we aren't nor ever have been romantic lovers...not with each other, at least.

And so now here I am, inside the Sacred Pub once again, having another Minute Mead, and considering how all these events are going to play out over the chapters. Olga the bartender Fairy smiles warmly at me, then rushes off to shout at a couple lemmings that have just spilled their After Ales onto the new digital jukebox she had just had installed. They were booted out instantly, likely never to be seen again inside the Sacred Pub. Olga is a sweetheart, but she runs a tough ship...as well she should! I shuffle my Xanaduvian homework papers back into a neat stack upon the bar, and swivel my seat around to examine my current surroundings. There are a handful of fat squirrels from Walnut St., with their derby hats and overstuffed briefcases...they are shooting darts, and watching for stray acorns (which are currency once again, in our beloved Xanadu Forest). I see some of the Otterman boys (they are River Otters from further north of the Xanadu Forest, along my sister The River) shooting pool and having a pleasant time...but their brother Dwight is noticeably absent. Then I suddenly remember he was booted from the Sacred Pub several moon-greetings ago for lighting off fireworks inside the Sacred Pub. This is a HUGE no-no with Olga, and will get one kicked out faster than anything else bad you can imagine doing inside the Sacred Pub. Loyal readers of these stories will remember many chapters ago how a very drunk Casey the Cardinal (or more technically correct, "Mr. Feathers," as he calls himself when he's too drunk) fired off his flare gun inside the Sacred Pub and nearly burned the building down. Gratefully, Andrew of Olympus was with us that night to spare the Sacred Pub and all of its patrons of any serious harm.

It was that moment I came to sort of a realization: the Sacred Pub was getting busier and busier each time I came over from my Sacred Garden. I decided to ask Olga the bartender Fairy about this, since I seemed to still be on her good side this moon-greeting, and she told me something to the effect, "Well of course it is, sweetie! You're here! You've been rubbing elbows with Andrew for so long now, I suspect it's rubbed off on you. You spend enough time in one place, and people are bound to gather round you." Then she poured me another Minute Mead and chased off a couple fat squirrels from Walnut St. that were trying to scam some unsuspecting Lemmings with their infamous shell games. Olga was right, now that I thought about it. I was drawing more critters into the Sacred Pub simply by being here. What seemed like ages ago, Andrew and I and the birds (Casey the Cardinal and Cousin Eddie the Raven) used to come here on an almost nightly basis. But that was back when my Sacred Garden was very full of loved ones who had long since gone away to other places. Since my return to my Sacred Garden, I had only been venturing out to the Sacred Pub on very rare special occasion...until recently, when I found it such an ideal location to work on my Xanaduvian language homework.

And then I suddenly saw her! And her! There were new bartender fairies working in the Sacred Pub! It had been many a moon and sun greeting since I had seen such a sight! "Lovely," I accidentally thought out loud...which attracted Olga's attention immediately, even though I was still turned with my back to her, feeling the din of the room.

Olga had read my thoughts--even the still silent ones--perfectly: "Now don't be getting any ideas, Mr. Kev; I know that look all too well! Yes, they are lovely dolls indeed. Two of Lustra's finest."

I spun round in my stool and said sheepishly, "But I wasn't..."

"Oh yes you were, Mr. Kev! You're a terrible liar, you are," Olga interjected. Then she continued, "Do I need to remind you of my special rule again?" Then Olga topped off another Minute Mead for me and slid it my way.

"No, dear, Olga, no you don't. I remember. And thank you, lovely." Then I sucked the perfect amount of foam from the top of my flagon and continued, "Just so lovely, you know. Both of them. So graceful and fabulous." Then I spun a bit in my stool and pointed, "Especially her. Something about her. I don't know. Just feels very nice. Her smile, her Heartshine, her glitter-stream...everything."

"Kinda reminds you of yourself, maybe?" Olga asked pensively, then added, "I noticed that too when I hired her. That's Shelelabee. She's a special one for sure. The other one over there is Rhianka...she's amazing and lovely too. And neither of them even skim the till. Honestly, Kev, I don't blame you for having your thoughts. But that said, don't have anymore thoughts. I'd hate to have to boot my most fabulous patron--plus it'd be bad for business! And I'd genuinely miss you." Then Olga and I both laughed heartily and clinked our flagons together merrily.

Olga the bartender fairy is so sweet when she wants to be, and I was most grateful to be here in her company on just such a moon-greeting. I sipped my Minute Mead slowly, but thoughtfully, until the last drop was gone from the flagon. Shortly thereafter, I excused myself to explore the hallway and use the restroom. As I passed by the jukebox, I ran into dear Caesar Emeritus, the Baloo-eyed Akita, and Ptolemy the gentle Boxer. We three exchanged warm hugs and pleasantries, and it seemed as though they had gotten very close to learning how to use the new jukebox. I suggested they play some songs by the Eagles, but Ptolemy absolutely insisted on playing Bachman Turner Overdrive. I wasn't going to argue, and so I didn't. With that, I excused myself again and sauntered down the hallway.

Then it happened! She happened--officially, I mean. Shelellabee came zipping down the hallway right toward me. I smiled and sort of halfway waved. She stopped. She smiled. She landed on my shoulder, and planted the sweetest kiss ever upon my cheek. Oh boy! I'm not sure how I remained standing. My heart raced. My cheeks shined with the warmth of my blood. Olga's warning played on repeat in my head, and I couldn't bring myself to say anything to sweet Shelelabee, other than an awkward "Hi," before I ran off to the restroom to catch my breath.

No pun intended, I had never felt more relieved to be standing in front of the urinal. My heart was relaxed again, and I repeated my breathing exercises. Ahhh...safe at last. And I had my plan, now too: I would go back out into the hallway, hang a hard left, and go straight to the back room for a few games of pinball. I washed my hands and appreciated myself for a moment or three in the mirror. One last gentle inhale and exhale. I was cool again. And fabulous. Good.

My solace wasn't to last for long, however, as I was overwhelmed by a horrid clanking sound...and the door from the back stall flung open and crashed into the wall. I jumped a bit, "Dwight!? Dwight Otterman? What are you doing here? You've been booted!"

"Correction, my dear Kev," the River Otter replied. "I mean, yes, Dwight Otterman has been booted from the Sacred Pub...but NOT Moonshine Superman!" It turns out the wayward son River Otter had managed to convince my Cousin Eddie the Raven to make him a super hero disguise out of beer cans.

"Oh my God," just sort of escaped my lips instinctively. "Dude, Olga is being nice to me tonight. Please don't ruin it. Besides, I've just experienced my first crush in many sun and moon-greetings. I'd like to enjoy it for a bit before getting on Olga's bad side."

"Dude, don't worry," Moonshine Superman replied, and "There's no way she's gonna know it's me in this disguise...and even if she did, she won't be able to defeat Moonshine Superman. No one can defeat me."

"Oh my God," just sort of escaped my lips instinctively once again. I tried another breathing exercise, and tried to calm myself by looking into the restroom mirror. At least my hair still looked fabulous. I finally calmed myself just enough to speak. "Dwight--I mean, Moonshine Superman--we've got to get you out of here before one of the bartender fairies discovers you. Please?"

I put my hand gently upon Moonshine Superman's shoulder, and guided him left down the hallway, as we exited the restroom cautiously. I held him directly in front of me in the hopes that anyone behind us wouldn't be able to spot him. Not that they wouldn't hear him clanking, mind you. I could hear the famous Kansas song blaring on the jukebox behind us. And then came the lovely bartender fairy Rhianka. This is so not good.

To be continued.

Thank you for joining me on this lovely journey...especially my special Wednesday Girl.
Semba.

I love you.
KeV
XX

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Chapter 40: What's In A Name?: A Stellers Jay's Tale

9/1/2018

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As some of you know, Caw Caw Carl, the fabulous Stellers Jay, is my assistant to the assistant county clerk in the county clerk's office of our beloved Xanadu Forest. Some of you also know that Caw Caw Carl and I have been spending lots of time together in the county clerk's office of late...mostly working on my Xanaduvian language homework, which is kindly provided me by our beloved forest's librarian, dear Caesar Emeritus, the Baloo-eyed Akita.

It occurred to me a few sun greetings ago that all of us--including myself--knew very very little of Caw Caw Carl's background story, and so I decided to ask him about this. He was quite happy to share, of course, and even answered questions I had neither asked him, nor thought of. It soon became apparent that it would be a good good thing for all of us if he simply wrote down his story. And so Caw Caw Carl did so--gladly! And so now seemed like a good time for me to share his story with all of you, dear lovelies. Before I share his story, though, there are a couple things I must tell you in the interests of integrity and brevity, both of which are highly regarded still in our beloved lands.

Firstly, Caw Caw Carl and I both agreed mutually that I would need to edit his story quite a bit before we made it public, due mostly to his unique and beautiful form of double-speak. Please understand, dear readers, he is very well-spoken, and well-versed in all forms of writing...but his natural double-speak can be quite taxing (and even confusing, at times) for anyone not already accustomed to it. I have left some of his double-speak in his story in an attempt to give the reader a better feel for how he speaks, but pared it down just enough to reasonably hope that readers won't become overly confused.

Secondly (and once you read his story, you'll see why this explanation is necessary), I must describe somewhat the nature of the relationship between our own Interterrestria and their Morganshire, which lies directly east of my sister, the River. Any maps you might happen to see of Interterrestria will tend to include Morganshire in them, which has led to the false belief that Morganshire is part of our lands. It's possible--and perhaps even probable--that Morganshire was in fact a part of Interterrestria many ages ago, but if that were the case, it has long since been broken off from our proper lands. In fact, there is a dimensional barrier between our respective lands so that Morganshirians cannot cross into Interterrestria proper...and for good reason.

You see, dear reader, Morganshire is a very large and heavily populated land...a metropolis, I believe, most earthlings would consider it. It is full of all sorts of industry, manufacturing, and institutions of any sort you might name or imagine. Not that they don't have forests and nature there as well...just that they tend to be overshadowed by sciences and education, finances, politics, celebrities, and, indeed, all things material...and a general lack of all things deep and spiritual. Now many of you will realize immediately how this could conflict with the beliefs and ideals of we Interterrestrians, and indeed it does in many ways. But we Interterrestrians do not see ourselves as superior OR inferior to the Morganshirians. We simply see ourselves as different creatures with different beliefs. And please don't misunderstand me, dear reader, we Xanaduvians (especially in my Sacred Garden!) love and enjoy some material things as much--if not more--than the Morganshirians. Also we know, of course, that there are many lovely spiritual beings in Morganshire as well. And we admire their society's overall beauty and ingenuity. But no, the vast majority of their populace has very little in common with we Xanaduvians. I believe, if they were to interact with us, they would tend to see us mostly as foolish simpletons. And, in many ways, we are. But the greatest difference between Xanaduvians & Morganshirians is the fact that we have eternal life here in our lands, whereas all things eventually die in Morganshire...and death is generally considered an ending in their society. This, dear lovelies, is why we have a dimensional barrier between us and them, so that they cannot cross over into our lands. Interterrestria is VERY sparsely populated, which is important when no one ever dies. [You might imagine that mating and procreation are extremely rare in Interrestria, and you would be right, of course!]

All this being said, we DO have a few former Morganshirians in our beloved Xanadu Forest, myself being one of them. This implies, of course, that there is a way to cross over the dimensional barrier...which, of course, there is--a couple of different ways, actually! Caw Caw Carl is another being that discovered this. This is no easy thing to do. In the interests of secrecy, I can't tell you much more about this, other than that it involves lots of paperwork, stamps, good fortune, faith, and seals of approval. I can also tell you that my Sacred Garden has long had a wonderful working relationship with the chief magistrate of Morganshire, which happens to be an immortal bald eagle who was originally from Interterrestria.

Now that these things are out of the way, we can finally get on with Caw Caw Carl's tale, as edited by me:

"My name is Carl Carl, or Caw Caw Carl Carl, as many of my newly new friends have come to call call me. I was, am, and likely always will be a Stellers Jay. I was born in a moderately humble district of Morganshire, to my goodly kind parents, Mavis and Tom Tom. I was the last of my siblings to hatch--of which there were 4 others--and the last to learn to how to fly. And never did I learn to fly so gracefully fluent...even to this day! My parents owned a well-known and reputable print shop near the central document district in Morganshire City proper, and my siblings and I--when we were old enough of age--all worked there with them. We were neither richly rich, nor poorly poor, and never lacked for life's necessary necessities.

My father, Tom Tom, was a goodly good bird, but also somewhat of a hard bird, too. "Work, work," seemed to be his personal mantra saying to himself--except on weekend ends, when the print shop was closed. Then, his mantra saying seemed to be "No adventuresome adventures," though he would make little bits of time for rest and relaxation, here and there. And he had a genuinely fond love for fine ales, and even finer food...which my mother Mavis always happily prepared and provided.

My mother, Mavis, was not only a goodly good mother and wife, but also a most lovely preparer and provider for us all. She work worked hard at the print shop too, like my father...and a couple of my siblings. She seemed to work work even harder on the weekend ends. I always found it interesting that her and my father ended up together, because she was, by nature, an adventuresome dreamer. I would later learn, later on, that she inherited this part of herself from her father--my grandfather--Carl...who I was named after, of course. I've always had an ongoing, lingering feeling that my mother sacrificed many hidden, adventuresome dreams within herself for the sake of our family...but never did she seem or feel to be unhappy or regretful in the least. Always smiling most beautifully.

Now on the weekend ends, many of our extended family members would often come over to our nest, and it often felt like a holiday day, even when it wasn't actually a holiday day. Aunts, uncles, cousins, cousins' cousins, uncles' aunts, and aunts' uncles and their cousins' cousins and on and on, until there were 40 or so Stellers Jays at our nest...and my grandfather Carl, of course!

My grandfather Carl was an odd bird indeed, or so my family and extended family openly thought and said of him. Ultimately, Grandpa Pa Carl is how I would eventually come to live and dwell in the heart of the heart of the beloved Xanadu Forest. But now I'm getting aheadly ahead of myself! You see, while the rest of my family and extended family were laughing and gabbing and carrying on about this, that and whatever else, Grandpa Pa Carl would be sitting quietly outside the nest, swaying gently on the front porch swing, sipping slowly on a fine ale, and counting the stars. And many times, I would often join him there. He would tell me the most lovely tales of adventuresome adventure...some that he had read in books, and some that his brother Joel Joel had told him many years ago. I never did meet Joel Joel, for as Grandpa Pa Carl tells it, Joel Joel had long since left Morganshire for this mysterious place called Interterrestria--and eventually he just never returned.

'Do you think Joel Joel died?' I asked Grandpa Pa Carl many nights over the years, but never would he answer me. He would just smile warm and softly, stroke my wing, and tell me that he will tell me just only when the time was right...when I was old enough of age to hear such wondrous things. Then he would go back to sipping slowly his fine ale, and counting the stars, and the stars of stars.

One most fabulous night, upon our front porch swing--THAT time--much to my delight's delight--that night had finally arrived! Without me even asking that question yet again, Grandpa Pa Carl smiled warm and softly, 'Oh no, no, my beloved little Caw Caw...no one dies in Interterrestria. Life there always goes on forever! Now, most people don't believe that Interterrestria actually exists, though I know for a fact that it does. In fact, I have a most lovely, wonderful gift for you to prove it.' He pulled a small and not particularly thick-looking book out from underneath his wing, and handed it to me. The book was ancient looking, and encrusted with gems that had dimmed, and no longer shined. I dared not open the book, though I stroked its cover gently, and inhaled its most timely and timeless scent. Grandpa Pa Carl finally continued, 'My odd and beautiful brother Joel Joel brought me this book one night secretly, many many years ago. He told me it was a secret book he obtained from the Xanadu Forest, and that he wanted me to have it now...because I was the only one that ever truly believed in him. Joel Joel told me that inside this book are precious, ancient Xanaduvian secrets and wisdom...and even the knowledge and keys to crossing over into other dimensions. He then told me that he was returning to Interterrestria, never again to return to Morganshire...and that he was leaving this book with me in case I ever decided to join him there someday day.'

I was so movingly moved, and wondrously overwhelmed, that I almost didn't know what to say say. And I sort of felt kind of like crying, but it a most goodly good way. But then I thought of something, and asked my beloved Grandpa Pa Carl, 'So did you go visit Joel Joel in Interterrestria?'

Grandpa Pa smiled, and stroked my wing, gently and slowly, and softly replied, 'No, no, my dear dear Caw Caw. I never even opened the book--I didn't want to be tempted by it. My heart of hearts always spoke to me that that was not my own path or destiny, and that this book fell into my wings for the purposeful purpose of another...another I would discover many years years later, when YOU were born! And so close your eyes for a moment, my beloved Caw Caw, and breathe. Slowly, softly. Allow your heart of hearts to speak to you. You will know what to do.'

I did as my beloved Grandpa Pa Carl asked of me, and my heart of hearts spoke--softly and gently. And I began to cry...a sadly sad sort of cry. Grandpa Pa pulled me close and tight, and wrapped his wing around me. He began to cry a sadly sad sort of cry too. I finally choked back my tears and spoke, 'I can feel your heartbeat. It's such a beautiful beautiful rhythm. And my heart of hearts speaks too...but how can I?...'

'Shhh, my beloved Caw Caw. No more wordly words for us. And don't you ever, ever worry. I will speak speak to our family and extended family on your behalf, and I won't stop speaking speaking about it until they finally believe me, and smile, and their heart of hearts will speak to them and tell them all what a happily happy and beautifully beautiful occasion this really is. And I shall know forever that you will truly and literally love us all forever and ever. Because death will never find or touch you. And nothing could ever make my heart of hearts smile bigger or greater!' Then my beloved Grandpa Pa Carl kissed my forehead one last time, and his eyes sparkled so sparkly.

And many breezes, and many many pages later, here I am inside the county clerk's office of our beloved Xanadu Forest, so happily happy to be the assistant to the assistant county clerk, and holding out hope that I will someday day be the worthy forever gatekeeper my heart of hearts has called me to be.I am your friend, dear readers, Caw Caw Carl Carl the Stellers Jay, and this is my story."

Thank you all for being out there and for being a part of my lovely journey.
I love you, and life is sooo beautiful beautiful.
Semba.

KeV
XX

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Chapter 39: Another Return To Olympus

3/19/2018

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I remember when Andrew first came to my Sacred Garden...years ago, when the garden was a much busier place. When he first appeared, we invited him to stay...and so he did. He didn't sleep on the Persian rug in those days, however, and neither did any of us. The Persian rug, back then, was more of a rec room. We most often used it for recording songs, but also it was used for karaoke and playing Nintendo. Twillerbee and I slept in the Royal Bed, of course, Weasel and Mongoose used to sleep in hammocks high up in the trees near the Tree House, and Butterfly and Magpie had a giant nest not too far from the garden gate. Ahh the memories.

Andrew used to sleep on a chaise lounge lawn chair on the Island of Summer, near the center of the Pond of Fanciness. Yes, for those that recall the old stories, this is the pond with the magic lily pads that make Nintendo sounds when you hop on them to get to the island. At least we thought Andrew slept there. And perhaps he did sometimes. You see, the Island of Summer was not a large island at all...just large enough, in fact, for a few bushes, a chaise lounge lawn chair, and a secret portal. Yes!...a secret portal. Now, Andrew never told us about this portal, of course. I stumbled onto it by accident one time when I went to wake Andrew up. I called his name a few times, and finally poked at him...only to realize he had simply arranged some pillows upon the lawn chair, and covered them with a blanket. And for no good reason I can think of, I decided to look beneath the lawn chair. That's when I noticed a mysterious portal. It was closed, of course. I realized right away that Andrew must use this portal to come and go from the Sacred Garden, but I had no idea where it would lead.

Eventually Andrew ended up telling me that the portal led to Olympus, and that you had to step on the magic lily pads in a certain sequence in order to open the portal. He did not, however, tell me what that sequence was. [In all honesty, I think I may have finally figured out the sequence, but I'm nervous to try it out. Portals are not to be taken lightly or toyed with--that much I know very well.]

Those were my last sleeping thoughts.

Then I woke upon my Persian rug, not surprised to see that Andrew was no longer there next to me, but disappointed just the same. He was there when we had fallen asleep, and we had fallen asleep to the gentle cadence of our secret slumber party conversations. It's not unlike Andrew to just vanish, so again I was not surprised. And I knew, of course, that this particular sun greeting was Olympus Day..the day that Andrew left Earth for Olympus for the last time in fully corporeal form. Of course Andrew would have to be in Olympus for Olympus Day! They still honor him there each year on Earth's March 19, to mark his most fabulous arrival there. It's a big, big deal, I can only presume.

I checked my modified Casio calculator communicator watch instinctively as I stood and stretched. There was a message there from Dee-Dee the gorgeous and intelligent turtle, informing me that my beautiful gatekeeper, Madeliene, still had not returned from teaching a yoga class with Sugaldo Smada in Lemmington. Dee-Dee had also sent a second message, letting me know that all was well and good at my Sacred Garden gate, and that I should not feel troubled. I actually felt comfort from that. Then I suddenly remembered that Dee-Dee and I now had the ability the communicate telepathically; so rather than messaging her back on my modified Casio calculator communicator watch, I simply thanked her and wished her a lovely sun greeting--telepathically. She smiled in my mind, and informed me that Andrew had left a glittery envelope for me at Achilles' Last Stand, for whenever I was inclined to receive it. "Purpose, indeed. Lovely," I thought to myself.

On my way to Achilles' Last Stand, near my Sacred Garden gate, my soulmate, Cousin Eddie the Raven, met me halfway. We walked side by side, and shared pleasant conversation. But not conversation I will share here. Some talk about Van Halen, and transition, mostly. It was a lovely few moments indeed. Dee-Dee the gorgeous and intelligent turtle was genuinely pleased to see me, when Cousin Eddie and I finally arrived at her desk, Achilles' Last Stand. And I was pleased to see her too, of course. Sometimes words are more meaningful when left unspoken, and so none of us spoke at all that moment. But we all felt. And we all felt nice. Dee-Dee handed me the glittery envelope Andrew had left me. I opened it pensively, and found inside a most lovely letter on glittery parchment...and it read as follows:

"Dearest KeV,

As you well know, today is Olympus Day in Olympus, and it's a big, big deal. But I also must tell
you that YOU are a big, big deal, and my friends and family in Olympus wish for you to join us
for this most lovely #LoveRock occasion. Upon reading this, you should waste no time at all, but
make your way to the portal on the Island of Summer, and fall into it. I would share the secret
lily pad code with you, but I know your heart already knows it. We will be waiting for you. Please
come alone.

Love, Landrew"

As I finished folding the lovely invitation, and tucking it back into its glittery envelope, Dee-Dee and Cousin Eddie both smiled at me knowingly. And I smiled back at them. Warmly. Comfortably. Cousin Eddie then tossed me a can of beer, and one to Dee-Dee the gorgeous and intelligent turtle. We three cracked them open in unison, toasted (silently), and chugged them down. And just like that, I was off to Olympus for the first time. Truly, a knew day was upon us all. And my heart was very happy happy for that.

What happened while I was in Olympus cannot be reported in the open...not that I was forbidden, but that it was an experience that words cannot describe. Melody, perhaps. Someday.

I remain so grateful. Thank you all, that have been a part of my beautiful journey. Semba.

I love you,
KeV
XX

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Chapter 38b: Heartshine and Hi Jinks Part II

3/7/2018

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I was a bit disappointed that my beautiful gatekeeper Madeleine, and Yana the black bear had already taken off for Lemmington without me having said goodbye to them...disappointed in myself, that is, not them. And, while Andrew continued trying to resolve issues between Cousin Eddie and Casey the Cardinal, I considered how feeling disappointed in myself was something new to me. Not so long ago, I would have been disappointed in Madeleine and Yana for leaving without saying goodbye. I might even have become a bit butt-hurt, depending on the moment. So perhaps I really WAS starting to change for the better--at least in some sort of small ways. But still only perhaps. I immediately looked down at the modified Casio communicator watch on my wrist, and sent a message to Madeleine and Yana, apologizing that I had gotten distracted, and neglected to tell them goodbye. And I wished them a most fabulous sun greeting in Lemmington. They both replied with smiley and heart emojis.

Then something else unlike the former me happened--well, two things actually! I turned my eyes toward Achilles' Last Stand, and became conscious of the fact that we were completely ignoring poor Dee-Dee the gorgeous and intelligent Turtle who was already seemingly taking over the gate-keeping duties. That it was to be Andrew and I's job, of course. I stood up and smiled at her, and started walking toward the desk. Dee-Dee smiled very big and warm, and waved me back, gesturing toward Cousin Eddie's garage built of beer cans. Not wanting to shout, I instinctively spoke silently to Dee-Dee, "Are you sure? Andrew and I are the ones that are supposed to be minding the gate."

Then I heard Dee-Dee's voice--in my mind only--"It's okay, Kev. Don't worry. I've got this. Go play with Andrew and the birds." And so apparently Dee-Dee and I had the ability to communicate telepathically! This was amazing and new to me! I've never been able to communicate telepathically with anyone before, other than with Edwin the Bee, my Sister the River, and my cousins the moon and stars. But never with critters. I could communicate sort of telepathically with King Midas LeBottom, but only while using the Dragon's Eye he gave me.

I decided to test this lovely new revelation--and the nature of my relationship with Dee-Dee: "Did you know all along we could communicate this way? And perhaps we're finally beginning to find our purposes?"

And my mind heard Dee-Dee's voice reply clearly, "Well, of course, I did silly! I'm not just gorgeous, you know...I'm intelligent too! Highly intelligent." And she snickered loudly--into my mind. And I snickered into hers, but not so loudly. Then she added--still telepathically, of course-"Yes, I think you're onto something there...we really are starting to find our purposes...but only just beginning. Now go play with Andrew and the boys!" So lovely. My mind thanked her so much, and I knew she could feel me smiling.

I finally sat back down on the grass in front of Cousin Eddie's garage, next to Andrew, and I noticed that the three of them were now speaking a completely different language I had never heard before. "I've never heard this language before...what is it?" I finally asked Andrew.

"It's called Angry Corvid," Andrew replied instantly, "And of course you've never heard it before! It hasn't been spoken in these lands for many ages. The language is generally only been spoken by rude boys from bad neighborhoods, and in certain penitentiaries. It's very not nice! I'm highly disappointed in both of them right now!" Then Andrew sighed, and sort of half-glared at Casey and Cousin Eddie.

Cousin Eddie, my soulmate Raven, knew of course I was wanted to be filled in on what I had missed, and so he explained (in English, of course) "It's been so nice having my dear friend Casey here to play with. We got to talking about the TV show Magnum P.I., and we decided it might be fun to play Magnum P.I. together here in the Sacred Garden. And we already have the remote control helicopter, of course. But we still needed a Ferrari to do it right, so I ordered one from Mitzy. And we dug some costuming supplies out of the Tree House treasure box."

"Well that sounds perfect lovely, Cousin Eddie," I interjected. "I don't see the problem here."

Cousin Eddie wasted no time continuing his story: "Yes. Perfectly lovely indeed!...until--without us even discussing it at all--Casey here decides to put on the Thomas Magnum gear and hop into the Ferrari. Now, I don't mind being T.C.--T.C.'s a badass too--but I don't like that he just assumed he should be Thomas."

Casey the Cardinal interrupted, "I told you, Cousin Eddie, my feathers match the Ferrari perfectly. We were made to be seen together. Fabulousness always wins, you know!"

Then the two corvids started squawking again in Angry Corvid and Andrew shouted at them again--also in Angry Corvid--which I wouldn't repeat here in the story even if I WERE able to translate it. Andrew was right: it's a very nasty language! Nothing at all pleasant or kind about it. Let me tell you that much!

In eventual frustration, Andrew stood up and said sharply (in English, thankfully) "Come on, you rude boys. We're going to settle this the old-fashion way. And there will be no more Angry Corvid spoken in the Sacrred Garden...do you hear me, rude boys?! And take off that costume gear! Cousin Eddie, please get two Nerf guns from the Tree House--and plenty of darts! And meet the rest of us on the Persian rug after that...and no dilly-dallying, please." I had to admit to myself that, even when annoyed, Andrew is such a stunning and fabulous being. Charmingly charming, even while barking out commands. No wonder everyone listens to him so well!

As Cousin Eddie rushed off and disappeared into the bushes, myself, Andrew, and Casey the Cardinal made our way slowly to the Persian rug. I explained telepathically to Dee-Dee, the gorgeous and intelligent Turtle, that we were headed to the Persian rug, and that I'd keep her posted. And that I didn't understand exactly what it was we were doing yet. And Dee-Dee replied telepathically that all was fine at the garden gate, and that she looked forward to hearing what was going on with the Nerf guns.

After arriving at the Persian rug, and while we waited for Cousin Eddie to arrive with the Nerf guns, Andrew flipped through record albums--finally removing a Led Zeppelin record from its sleeve and easing it onto the turntable. "This will do just fine," he said mysteriously, still explaining nothing until Cousin Eddie finally arrived and handed Andrew the two Nerf guns. Andrew took the two guns and loaded three darts into each of them. "Now listen up, rude boys...we're going to have ourselves an old-fashion Quick-draw McGraw-off. Get back to back now boys!" And Casey and Cousin Eddie did so. Then Andrew handed each of the corvids a Nerf gun, quite ceremoniously, looking seriously into their eyes. Then he continued speaking, "When the needle drops, and the music begins to play...10 paces each--no more, no less. Then turn, and fire. Whoever's dart strikes their opponent first gets first choice of characters.

I updated Dee-Dee the gorgeous and intelligent Turtle telepathically, and she was anxious to hear who would win. I told her Casey the Cardinal would have an advantage because he was accustomed already to firing his flare gun to Olympus, but also pointed out that Cousin Eddie has particularly quick reflexes--even for a Raven.

The Quick-draw McGraw-off went very quickly, and wasn't nearly as dramatic as one might imagine. It was more silly than anything else, mostly...as one also might imagine. Cousin Eddie did a drop-and-roll sort of thing which caused his darts to fly low, then high, then wide right of his target, Casey the Cardinal. Casey didn't fire a single shot at first, because he was busy laughing at Cousin Eddie's awkward action hero roll. It really was awkward to watch, I had to admit to myself. Casey finally gathered himself, then nonchalantly fired a single dart which bounced shamelessly off of Cousin Eddie's beak. Cousin Eddie banged his wing into the Persian rug shamefully before finally standing up, and quietly admitted defeat.

Casey the Cardinal gloated, "Robin1, you sweet Ferrari, fret no longer; for your lovely Thomas will soon be with you again."

Andrew glared at Casey and quipped, "I guess sportsmanship isn't for the birds after all! You're getting ahead of yourself, Rude Boy Red. Come along boys! It's time to check in at Achilles' Last Stand now and report for duty before the games can begin." Then Andrew shut off the stereo system, and carefully replaced the Led Zeppelin record in its sleeve, and tucked it away in its proper place.

Andrew and the boys were surprised to find that Dee-Dee the gorgeous and intelligent Turtle already knew that Casey had won the Quick-draw McGraw-off, and she congratulated him kindly. Cousin Eddie grumbled something under his breath that we will just have to assume was NOT, in fact, Angry Corvid speak. Andrew was very excited to learn that Dee-Dee and I were able to communicate telepathically now. On any other sun-greeting, both Casey and Cousin Eddie would've been happy about this too, but just now they were only chewing on their negative emotions. Andrew gave me a most fabulous hug and congratulated me on my new discovery. "I'm so happy and proud for you, Kev. You're growing up so much! It seems today is a lovely day of learning for many of us." Then Andrew glared at Casey and Cousin Eddie and barked at them, "Come on up, boys! Up! Take your rightful place upon Achilles' Last Stand."

All of us were a bit confused...even Dee-Dee the gorgeous and intelligent Turtle shrugged her shoulders at me. And I shrugged mine back at her shrugging shoulders. Casey the Cardinal finally asked, "What are we doing up here?" Then the corvid added, "I won fair and square--I'm Thomas Magnum."

Andrew knelt down on the grass by Casey's side and stroked his beak gently, "You won indeed, dear Rude Boy Red! And for your lovely victory, you get to choose. Now, which will it be? Would you like to be Apollo or Zeus?"

Cousin Eddie and Casey the Cardinal worked very hard to hold in their Angry Corvid speak--and they succeeded. They did, however exclaim in unison, "The LADS?! No! That's not how the game goes!" And they both offered to be T.C. at the same time too. But it was already too late for that. Even the lack of time we have in our beloved Xanadu forest wasn't enough to change their fates now.

"You two, Rude Boy Red, and Rude Boy Black had already decided to be dirty dogs even before the game began," Andrew explained. "And so dirty dogs shall you play in this game. Now do I need to ask you again, Rude Boy Red...it's your choice. Apollo or Zeus?"

Unhappy as the rude boys were, Casey finally answered calmly, sheepishly admitting defeat, "Fine. Zeus...I guess."

"A fine choice indeed, Zeus," Andrew spoke gently, and he stroked Casey's head softly. Then Andrew walked round to the other side of the desk and spoke to Cousin Eddie, "I'm sure, dear Rude Boy Black, you will make a most fabulous Apollo." And Andrew stroked Cousin Eddie's head gently too.

Cousin Eddie accepted his defeat mostly graciously, for the most part, and he even tried to look at the bright side of things,"Well at least we get to hang out with the gorgeous and intelligent Higgins"...referring to Dee-Dee the Turtle, of course. "It could be worse."

Then Andrew winked at me, and I finally knew what to say. "True, hanging out with a gorgeous and intelligent Turtle version of Higgins would be cool...it it were so. But no, my dear soulmate, Cousin Eddie-Apollo...Dee-Dee is no Higgins. She's much too pretty for that. Higgins, as it turns out, and beautifl as 'he' may be, is off teaching a yoga class in Lemmington this particular sun-greeting." Dee-Dee and Andrew chuckled. I may have puffed out my chest a bit, feeling good that I was understanding Andrew's game so well.

"So who is Dee-Dee?" Rude Boy Red finally asked.

"I'm glad you asked, lovely Zeus," I quickly replied, and clarified, "Dee-Dee the gorgeous and intelligent Turtle is the damsel in distress, being harassed by the fat squirrels of Walnut St inside the Sacred Pub. Looks as if Thomas and T.C. must go there right away and rescue her." Feeling like I was learning to understand Andrew's methods much better now, I continued on with confidence, "And so now, my dear Andrew, would you prefer to be Thomas or T.C.?"

Andrew smiled, and placed his hand gently upon my shoulder, "It's a tough choice, as both characters are so awesome in their own ways...how about we let Dee-Dee-Dee-cide?"

"Ahh, splendid idea, my dear Andrew," I replied, and I said to Dee-Dee, "Take no worry in making your decision, my gorgeous and intelligent Turtle...for I will be most pleased with either choice you make."

In the end, I was to fly the helicopter, and Andrew was to drive the Ferrari...to the Sacred Pub, of course. We sent Dee-Dee the gorgeous and intelligent damsel in distress ahead, of course...knowing it would take her quite some imaginary time to get there. I used my Dragon's Eye that the good King Midas LeBottom had given me, and learned how to miniaturize Andrew and myself so that we were just the perfect size to operate our respective remote controlled vehicles. It actually took me several tries to get us down to just the right size, but it was good practice for me. I knew, of course, that Andrew could have done this himself on the first try with very little effort--being from Olympus and all--but it was clear to me that this was a sun-greeting of learning--for myself--and for others too!

Andrew and I were very slow in getting into our respective Thomas Magnum and T.C. costumes. Intentionally. It was a nice moment, and neither of us felt any need to rush through it. We caught up on much needed and pleasant conversations from inside the garage Cousin Eddie had built out of beer cans. Andrew assured me that Rude Boy Red and Rude Boy Black would be on their very best behavior as our gatekeepers for the sun-greeting...and likely the moon-greeting too. When I expressed my doubts to him, he finally said, "If they make mischief, then so be it. They can't do anything you and I can't undo, my lovely Kev." It was so comforting when he spoke those words. I smiled, and adjusted the aviation headphones, now securely upon my head.

Before we left on our Magnum P.I. adventures, Thomas decided we should give one more fine example for the rude boys, and he told them, "Now listen up, Lads, Zeus and Apollo! T.C. and I are going to do something very special for you now...as a lesson: though he will be in the helicopter and I'll be in the Ferrari, we are going to switch out remote servos, so that I will control his helicopter, and he will control my Ferrari. This will give you two something to ponder while we are away rescuing the damsel in distress. May minding Kev's Sacred Garden gate teach you to be one, once again, as you always have been until this sun-greeting. Whenever we return from our adventures, I fully expect to find you boys laughing and working together again...and I wish never to have to call you the Rude Boys ever again. Savvy?"

"Savvy," both corvids spoke in unison, no trace of anger in their voices at all. Just a humble gentleness.

And yes, Andrew and I did make it safely to the Sacred Pub. We parked our vehicles outside, and I used my Dragon's Eye to restore us to our normal size. Even as Thomas Magnum, Andrew is glorious and fabulous. By our third Minute Mead, I had finally grown accustomed to the fake mustache he wore above his pouting lips.

And yes, dear readers, we DID rescue the gorgeous and intelligent damsel in distress. And she enjoyed countless Minute Meads too. And no fat squirrels from Walnut St. were externally harmed in the process. The jukebox was nearly overheated by the time my cousin the sun fell asleep, and my other cousin the moon rose to greet us. And lots of boogie-ing ensued.

And a most fabulous and wondrous moon greeting it was!

Lovely of lovelies!
Thank you for joining me on this journey, dear fabulouses.

I love you.
Kev
XX

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Chapter 38a: Heartshine & High Jinks Part I

2/20/2018

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So many things have changed in my Sacred Garden since I discovered and rediscovered it. And, as I think about it, the entire Xanadu Forest--and even all of Interterrestria--have changed as well. I suppose that would mean that I have changed too...and most likely I have. For the better? I like to think so.

I found myself thinking these types of things when I woke up next to Andrew on the Persian rug. If he was awake, he didn't let on. I thought about the crazy nights we've had on the Persian rug (it's a very large Persian rug, mind you!--specifically, the size of fairly large cottage which used to rest on that very place at one time). I thought about our nights of playing music, karaoke, and Tecmo Football on the Nintendo, too. Eventually, my thoughts fluttered away, and I wished a good sun-greeting to Dee-Dee the gorgeous and intelligent Turtle, who was resting peacefully upon my chest. She popped her little head out of her shell and mentioned what a beautiful sun-greeting it was. And it was indeed! Peaceful, calm, beautiful.

Dee Dee and I continued in pleasant and quiet conversation until Andrew finally woke up. "Happy sun-greeting, fabulouses!" Andrew shouted, and Dee-Dee was startled a bit. In the blink of an eye, Andrew had fired up the stereo system and was putting on a Ricky Nelson record. Much like Andrew's voice, the record played a bit louder than was really necessary--given that I was still processing being awake. "C'mon Be Bop Babies, let's boogie!" Only Andrew boogied. I stood up and stretched. Dee-Dee just watched him, somewhat fascinated, and she asked me if he was always this loud. I told Dee-Dee that he's often not this quiet, and she chuckled.

Apparently Andrew's volume had given my beautiful gatekeeper, Madeleine the albino Peackock (Peahen), the impression that we were ready to be productive...since I received a message from her almost instantly on my modified Casio communicator watch, asking for me to please report to Achilles' Last Stand (her desk, near the garden gate) at my earliest convenience. And so I placed Dee-Dee upon my shoulder, and headed toward my garden gate. Andrew flipped over the record album and continued to boogie upon the Persian rug.

"Happy sun-greeting, beautiful gatekeeper," I said to Madeleine, as I arrived at her desk, and Dee-Dee greeted her pleasantly as well. I began signing off on the garden gate activity logs. "I see Mitzy dropped off a shipment--ooh, plenty of wine for you, Madeleine! Nice! Now what's this about a remote control Ferrari? Did something happen to Cousin Eddie's patrol jeep?"

Madeleine laughed and asked, "Since when do you actually read the activity logs?"

"Hey, I've turned over a new leaf, beautiful gatekeeper!" I replied, and continued, "I've even been doing my Xanaduvian language homework all by myself. Just ask Caw Caw Carl or dear Caesar Emeritus!"

"Well, good for you, Mr. Kev," Madeleine quipped, and added, "It's nice to imagine you actually growing up a bit, isn't it? As to the remote control Ferrari, you'd have to ask Cousin Eddie about that. I was working on the online Andrew Wood forum for the fairies when he requested it, so I was only half-listening. He said something about Casey the Cardinal and Magnum P.I. is all I recall. As far as I know, the patrol jeep is fine." Madeleine typed a bit more on her laptop, crunched on a kale chip, and finally said, "And yes, Mr. Kev, you know I love my wine. But that's not why I called you up here. Sugaldo Smada is teaching a class in Lemmington and he's kindly asked me if I would be his teaching assistant--just for the one class is all. It's quite an honor, you know."

"is that the yoga monkey dude?" I asked.

"Yes, the yogi master," Madeleine corrected me, and she continued, "So I need you to tend the garden gate while I'm away, if you don't mind."

I answered, "I'd be happy to, Madeleine, but there are strict rules prohibiting me from being my own gatekeeper."

"Yes, I'm well aware of that Mr. Kev," my beautiful gatekeeper said--a bit terse, truth be told. "I thought, since Andrew is here now, that he could sort of be the official gatekeeper...and of course you could hang out with him. There's no rule against that, you know."

Just then, Andrew appeared in front of Achilles' Last Stand, and grabbed a handful of kale chips from a bowl next to Madeleine's laptop. "Captain Hi Top, Love Master of ceremonies, and Gatekeeper in Waiting, reporting for duty, lovely Madeleine!" Andrew exclaimed, then crunched his kale chips and saluted my beautiful gatekeeper." Both Madeleine and Dee-Dee snickered a bit at that, and we all shared a nice smile. "This will be fun!" Andrew finally added, and he sat down at the desk next to Madeleine. Then he started tapping away at keys on Madeleine's laptop.

Madeleine didn't seem to like that at first. "Easy there, handsome," she said to him, and then, "This computer's quite different from the ones you used to play with. See, darling? That's it, yes. Just move the mouse like so and click there. Wow! You're a fast learner!"

I tried very hard not to roll my eyes (not sure I succeeded) when I finally interrupted, "I'm not sure we're really going to need to use the computer, Madeleine." I might have been a bit jealous, in all honesty...as my beautiful gatekeeper never speaks to ME that way. Handsome? Darling? Fast Learner? I guess being from Olypmus has its perks. Andrew obviously picked up on my energy, for he smiled and winked knowingly at me when Madeleine wasn't looking. His wink told me telepathically that he was just setting us up so that we could screw around on her laptop while she was away. Certainly he had something playfully sinister planned. I laughed silently behind my beautiful gatekeeper's back. Such a clever darling Andrew is! This was indeed going to be a fun sun-greeting! And so I munched on a few kale chips and let Madeleine and Andrew "bond."

Just then, Yana the Black Bear (Vanya's neice. Vanya, for new readers, is a massively massive Brown Bear, and head of the Xanadu Forest Mafia) arrived at the garden gate. "Well hello there, guys! How's tricks?" Yana exclaimed. Yana blew and popped a bubble gum bubble as she entered my Sacred Garden and approached Achilles' Last Stand. After that, Yana gave me a peck on the cheek and told me, "Nice to see you, handsome."

Before I could tell Yana any of the things I wanted to tell her, my beautiful gatekeeper interrupted, "Hey, Yana! I'm just about ready. Did you bring your yoga pants?"

"Wait a minute!" I exclaimed in Madeleine's direction, "You're taking Yana with you to Lemmington?"

"Well I'm not walking all the way to Lemmington by myself, you know, Mr. Kev," Madeleine replied. "Besides, she's been getting bored at her uncle's lair, and I thought she might enjoy the Yoga. "You're not jealous, are you?" Madeleine finally asked me.

Since there IS actually a rule about lying to your gatekeeper, I was forced to admit that I was--"But only a little bit," I assured everyone present. Then I added, "But it's not just that, my beautiful gatekeeper. You DO remember what happened when I took Yana to Lemmington the first time? How she blew up a fireworks stand and tortured and strapped a poor Lemming to a tree? And how we had to run and flee the angry mob of Lemmings?"

"He was a little pervert!" Yana shouted. "I'm not fond of little perverts trying to look up my skirt! Even if it IS just a weak Lemming."

"Good for YOU, Yana!" shouted Dee-Dee the gorgeous and intelligent Turtle, and Yana and Dee-Dee high-five'd one another. Andrew just looked over at me, and smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

Madeleine interjected immediately, "Yes, Kev, I remember. It'll be fine, I'm sure. Yana was new to the forest then. She's much more reserved now. She's promised me to be on her best behavior."

Yana nodded in confirmation, then she looked at me and took my hand. "I'm no angel, Kev, but I've made a promise to Madeleine, and I don't break my promises, darling--for good OR for bad. I'm an honorable misfit. I'll be good." Then Yana smiled warmly, and gave me another peck on the cheek. Then she added, "If you'll trust me sweetie, and promise not to worry, I'll bring you back a fabulous gift from Lemmington Square. And yes, I'll pay for it!" Then Yana laughed, as did we all.

"I promise," I smiled, and gave Yana a tight bear hug.

Just as Madeleine had finished giving her final gatekeeper instructions to Andrew, we all turned and looked toward the little garage Cousin Eddie had built out of beer cans...for there was much squawking going on. It was Casey the Cardinal and Cousin Eddie, of course! As I approached the garage, the two corvids came into view, seemingly engaged in some sort of heated debate.

Andrew appeared in front of me, and plopped down on the ground, looking into the garage. "Boys, boys!" He shouted. The squawking stopped immediately, and the two corvids both greeted him. Then Andrew asked Casey the Cardinal, "What's with the crazy get ups?" I finally noticed Casey was wearing a Hawaiian shirt, a Detroit Tigers' cap, and large sunglasses (the sort of sunglasses my dad or one of his friends would wear). Further, I noticed that Cousin Eddie, my soulmate Raven, was wearing a pair of large aviation headphones, complete with a microphone. I paused to look over at Achilles' Last Stand, which was by now abandoned--aside from Dee-Dee the gorgeous and intelligent Turtle. Madeleine and Yana had already left.

And that was how our sun-greeting of Heartshine and high jinks began. Andrew Wood of Olympus, my third angel, now also my gatekeeper. What could possibly go wrong?

Thank you all for humoring me and being a part of my life's journey.
Beautiful of beautifuls!
I love you.

XX

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Chapter 37: A Day Of Leisure & A Tale For Dear Caesar

1/17/2018

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It was a pleasant feeling waking up close to Andrew once again upon the Persian Rug in my Sacred Garden. I didn't wake up next to him, however...as I actually woke to the sound of a personal keyboard serenade. Ahh yes, the classic "Sepic Strings" setting which became one of Andrew's favorite settings. Yes, dear reader, it was supposed to be called "Epic Strings," but Andrew's keyboard was ancient and broken in some ways--the right sort of ways. It was nice to see his keyboard on the Persian
Rug again like our old days in my Sacred Garden, but I also hoped in all of hopes that Andrew wasn't sneakily trying to manipulate me into performing music again. Of all the things I still have to learn about myself, one thing I knew for sure was that I was nowhere near ready to make music again on any level. Gratefully, Andrew made no mention of making music at all, just played his lovely serenade as I stretched and greeted the sun and trees.

I greeted Dee-Dee the gorgeous and intelligent Turtle too, as the corner of my eye caught her popping her head out of her shell. And she smiled, then I stroked her head gently and placed her upon my shoulder. I thanked Andrew for the lovely serenade and suggested we take a short stroll into the beloved Xanadu Forest, and recalled vocally that Andrew had never tried the wonderful Ptolemy-ce Cream that Ptolemy the gentle Boxer had been selling for quite some measure of time now, from just outside the Record Emporium.

Andrew seemed to like my suggestion very much. And so it would be. And it was only dozens of steps later that we were at Achilles' Last Stand, checking in with Madeleine the albino Peacock (Peahen), my beautiful gatekeeper. Madeleine seemed happy when we found her...she was tapping away on her laptop, munching away on kale chips, and sipping on a glass of orange juice. I signed off on the garden gate activity logs, and Madeleine talked Andrew into posing for a couple pictures with her that she would share on her now quite famous Fairy Forum. Andrew quietly walked off and sat down cross-legged in front of Edwin the Bee's lotus flower, and the two of them conversed softly so that I couldn't hear what they were saying. I told Madeleine that Andrew and I were going for a stroll in the Xanadu Forest and to get some Ptolemy-ce Cream. And that we might pick through some record albums too. She asked if I might be willing to pick up the new U2 album for her, and I told her, of course, that I would be most happy to. And so it would be. It was a gentle and peaceful moment of clarity for me, for whatever lovely reason. And I was most grateful for it.

Before Andrew and I left my Sacred Garden for our stroll, we tracked down Cousin Eddie and Casey the Cardinal, who were enjoying each other's company very much, and very much as Andrew and I were enjoying ours. It felt as though the two corvids were also cognizant of the special presence of this moment, which was feeling ever more like the old days in my Sacred Garden--from the era when I used to call it 'OUR" Sacred Garden. When Casey wore his utility belt, carried his Hello Kitty walkie-talkie, and patrolled the garden either in his remote control patrol jeep or his remote control patrol copter. Yes, dear reader, Casey the Cardinal, Andrew's companion from Olympus, was once in charge of Sacred Garden security at a time when it was actually needed. But I digress.

Ptolemy the gentle Boxer, and T-Yay the record Retriever were quite happy to see Andrew and I, of course, as Andrew and I were happy to see them. But, it seemed, and with good reason, the two canines were even a bit happier to see Andrew than they were me. I was actually happy to see that. It's amazing what a difference the simple presence of such a special being makes in one's surroundings, even if they speak very little. Perhaps that's what makes them so special?

The Ptolemy-Ce Cream flavor of the day was Butternut Sherbet Crunch, and we all enjoyed a scoop or two of it immensely upon waffle cones. Eventually we made our way inside the Record Emporium, and Andrew wasted no time at all flipping through records upon the warm mahogany shelves. He found a copy of an old T. Rex album he enjoyed "too much--once, in another time" as he said. T-Yay and Andrew discussed T. Rex at length, while Dee-Dee the gorgeous and intelligent Turtle located the new U2 record for Madeleine. I held up my waffle cone so that Dee-Dee could enjoy a few licks of it. She seemed to enjoy it. And then she spotted the Duran Duran section and asked if she might pick out a record too. I told her that she could, of course, and she chose an EP of theirs with rare mixes. This made Dee-Dee, the gorgeous and intelligent Turtle, very happy! Which made ME very happy!

I picked out a Van Halen record for my soulmate, Cousin Eddie the Raven, even though it was an album with Sammy Hagar on it. I knew, of course, Cousin Eddie was not a fan of the Sammy Hagar era Van Halen on the whole, but T-Yay pointed out there was at least one song on this album Cousin Eddie would like very much. And I've learned to trust T-Yay's judgment when it comes to music, as he's quite quite savvy in such things. There's a reason he runs the Record Emporium, you know! For my part, I decided to pick out Styx's second album. It would be an interesting one for sure, my heart was sure.

After we left the Record Emporium and said our farewells to Ptolemy the gentle Boxer and T-Yay the record Retriever, Andrew and I decided to part ways. My heart was feeling a need to visit dear Caesar Emeritus, the Baloo-eyed Akita and master and caretaker of the Library Tree near the center of our beloved Xanadu Forest. Andrew decided he was going to Prince Rodrick's Fun Fun Zone to play some video games while dear Caesar Emeritus and I caught up with one another. I asked Dee-Dee, the gorgeous and intelligent turtle whether she would like to join dear Caesar and I in the Library Tree, or whether she would enjoy playing video games with Andrew at the Fun Fun Zone. Dee-Dee had never played arcade games before, she said, so she decided to go with Andrew. And so I stroked Dee-Dee's head gently, and placed her upon Andrew's shoulder. Andrew gathered all of our record selections and said he and Dee-Dee would drop the records off with Madeleine on their way to Prince Rodrick's. And I soon found myself, happily, inside the Library Tree.

Dear Caesar, as always, was very gracious, kind, and happy to see me. He congratulated me on the hard work I had been doing of late with the Xanaduvian language homework packets he had been providing me with. We discussed at length how I was entering a new phase of understanding of the ancient Xanaduvian language. Namely how there were different eras of it, and how I was beginning to be able to tell the difference. And how certain eras of the ancient Xanaduvian language were even impacted by languages from other planets and dimensions. I was still very hesitant and unsure of myself on many of the pages, dear Caesar Emeritus decided, but he was very proud of my effort overall. And he was careful to point out that I really was making genuine progress.

Eventually, dear Caesar asked if he might join me upon the Love Seat (a large, heart-shaped couch in the center of the Library Tree) for a good story session. He had been missing my stories, he confided, and decided he would like to know more about Styvendrake--and the Gliridescetan River Wolves as a whole, if I were willing. "But of course, my dear Ceasar Emeritus! I would be honored to!" I exclaimed, and patted my hand a few times upon the Love Seat. Dear Caesar wasted no time at all in joining me for some happy happy belly rubs, then I lie back, and the Balloo-eyed Akita, lie down next to me, resting his massive head upon my belly...so that I could scratch his head and ears while sharing a tale with him. And we went on...

"So you'll recall, of course, the day and moon greetings you and I spent with the good King Midas LeBottom, in his cottage atop Dew Mound. The mysterious stories we shared...but that also there were some things he said I could share if I wanted to, but that I didn't have to. Because, see, some of these tales must be kept very secret in many cases. Even in the safety of our blessed Xanadu Forest, there are things that could awaken dangerous and dark spirits, and bring evil to our lands."

At that point, I was suddenly reminded that the GARCOM was on inside the Library Tree, and so I spoke more loudly in the direction of the intercom, "Madeleine?!! Are you there?!!"

"Yes, Mr. Kev, I've been listening in," my beautiful gatekeeper replied, via the GARCOM. And she added, "You have me so intrigued, Kev. May I listen in too, or do I need to turn off the intercom?" Dear Caesar and I discussed it at length and decided it was okay for Madeleine to listen in, so long as no one else was with her in listening distance from Achilles' Last Stand. Madeleine was using her headphones, she said, and assured us she was alone, aside from Edwin the Bee, who of course already knows ALL things. And she agreed that should anyone come near her, even though she was using headphones, she would mute the GARCOM until they left the area. So we all agreed this was satisfactory. And so the tale (and head and ear scratching) went on...

"And you'll recall, of course, in former times--long before you arrived in our blessed Xanadu Forest--I lived in my Sacred Garden with Raven, Twillerbee, Cousin Eddie, Styvendrake (the River Wolf, and his wife Duchess), Butterfly, Weasel, Mongoose, Magpie, Casey the Cardinal (head of garden security), Oread the Mountain Lion, and Freddy the Frog ever standing as a sentinel upon the dock of his Pond of Fanciness. And Edwin the Bee, of course! And Andrew would come and go, but always there was lots of his things left behind upon my Persian Rug, which is where we used to record songs together, and rehearse for shows at the Sacred Pub. And we had a Royal Bed--with a canopy--and the boys (Weasel & Mongoose) had hammocks beneath the tree house, and the girls (Butterfly & Magpie) had a giant bird's nest upon the ground--and a table and chairs for tea parties. It was a happy and magical time of beauty for all of us, you would correctly imagine.

But even in the safety of our Sacred Garden, we all still had much to learn, and we weren't yet immune from darkness. And so a time came when I had to leave on a lengthy journey...to destroy the darkness that still hid within me, that was finding its way into the others as well. I was made to know that when and IF I finally returned to our Sacred Garden, it was likely some or all of them would be gone. The eve of the moon greeting that I was to leave, Styvendrake went alone with me to a secret place in the Xanadu Forest near my sister the River (though I didn't know then, of course, the River was my sister--this knowledge was something that came as the result of my most dreaded journey away from my happy place). Styvendrake, the Gliridescetan River Wolf shared much sacred knowledge of the ages with me as we built a campfire out of Gale's Dude Ranch CD's...don't ask, please! Those CD's aren't pertinent to the story--nor to anything at all--which is why we burned them lol.

Anyway, at a point during Styvendrake and I's secret meeting, the River Wolf began removing items from a burlap sack--things I would need on my dreaded journey away from our Sacred Garden. He performed a sacred ritual on me...which is to say he bit down on my forearm--hard enough to break the skin and muscle, but not enough to crush the bone--a ritual I was told was called a Mercy Bite, or a Mercy Wound...a magical mark upon me that would never completely heal. And also, the Mercy Wound would glow different colors at different times, for different reasons. Ultimately, the wound was not only intended to keep my focus on my journey (as opposed to my Sacred Garden and loved ones I would miss immensely), but also to protect me from wicked spirits in dark places my journey would eventually take me. See, the Mercy Wound is a mark recognized throughout the universes that alerts others that you have been in the presence of River Wolves--and lived! And this is no small thing! To good spirits, the mark makes you their immediate friend and they are more eager to help you. To the wicked spirits, it makes them fear you--for they know you have been adopted--and therefore are protected by the River Wolves. In a word, Styvendrake gave me the spirit of a River Wolf that special moon greeting before the fire. It was akin to him making me his and Duchess' son. Very much like that.

Now there are many parts of my journey I could tell you, but I'm going to leave them out for now, for the sake of brevity. You have a habit of falling asleep during my stories, you know, dear Ceasar lol!

With that, dear Ceasar Emeritus lifted up his massive head and exclaimed, "Oh, dear Kev, I'm not falling asleep for this one for sure! This is most riveting! Do go on, please." I smiled and gave dear Caesar a few more head and ear scratches, and continued...

"So eventually I made my way to a place very far north in Flatlandia...to a secret passage at the base of Mt. Nol. You might remember when good King Midas LeBottom guided you and I through those lands, he led us very quickly past that area...that was no accident. For the good King knows of this secret passage, and the evil that lie beneath the mountain. If you recall the stain glass stairs that Donovan sang of in his song, inside that secret passage beneath Mt. Nol is where they are. Those were the very steps I had to take on my journey...a long, long journey--all the way down, and down yet more, until you finally reach a place not far from the core of Interterrestria. But now I must tell you that I didn't go alone. This is something I've never told anyone before--not even good King Midas LeBottom. Edwin the Bee knows, of course, even though I haven't told Him--because He knows everything.

See, as my journey took me near the dark, secret passage, I met a woman--a humanoid creature, much like myself--except a woman, of course. We were happy to have found one another, we smiled, laughed, and shared stories. Eventually I ended up telling her of my Sacred Garden and the loved ones I missed tremendously...and the dreaded journey I ended up having to take in order to destroy the darkness still hidden within me. The woman's heart was broken when I told her my tale, and she vowed to complete my journey with me. I explained to her that it was impossible for her to continue further with me, despite her kind and loving gesture--for it was a dangerous place, filled with wicked spirits, and she would be consumed with irreversible darkness and madness for sure. But this mysterious and beautiful woman was absolutely insistent, and even more stubborn that myself, if you can believe that! You see, I was protected because of my Mercy Wound Styvendrake had given me, and a cloak of River Wolf fur as well. And even with those powerful items, there was still no guarantee I would be able to complete my journey. And the beautiful woman had no protection at all from the wicked spirits that would surely enter her mind, drive her to madness, and eventually possess her very soul. She remained unwavering, and she told me she believed she would be safe so long as I was protected and she were holding my hand. I was her protection, she stated. She told me her heart spoke to her as much. And she promised to never let go of my hand at any point inside the dark caverns. She wasn't even concerned when I explained about the narrowness of the stain glass stairs--for the stairway wasn't even wide enough for us to walk side by side. We would have to journey down, you see, staggered, with her in front of me (for I did not trust her safety without being able to see her, and I had to watch our steps carefully. After warning her once more about the evil spirits within, I finally caved, and agreed to let her join me. I restated that under no circumstances should she let go of my hand, and we both agreed to tie our hands together fairly tightly--for safety. And, she agreed, when I told her I would be watching her carefully all the way down...and if she showed even the slightest sign of madness from the wicked spirits, we were turning around, and I would be completing the journey alone. The beautiful and mysterious woman reminded me again that I was her protection, she had no doubt. And so we finally descended.

And yes, dear Caesar, we made it all the way down to the bottom with little trouble. The spirits were there yes, we could both feel them. And we were not afraid. For we could also feel their immense fear of my Mercy Wound, and the cloak of River Wolf fur I wore. The wicked spirits were angry and hissing the whole way as we descended, but they were unable to penetrate our hearts or minds, or harm us at all in any way. And what I didn't tell the mysterious, beautiful companion--because I didn't know myself--was that we were to die. Literally. But, that if all went as I prayed, we would be reborn as new beings of the Light--the Light of the ancient Xanaduvian Dragon Lords.

See, there was a large lake before us when we finally reached the bottom of the stained glass staircase...only it wasn't a lake of water--it was a lake of Dragon's blood! In fact, it was the blood of the wicked dragon himself (whom we cannot name--not even in the safety of our beloved Xanadu Forest), the former Captain, who had turned against the Dragon Lord Dayne (Yes, the father of Cristobal the Animal King), and began a rebellion which led to the Dragon Wars. And, you might recall, dear Ceasar, that good King Midas LeBottom is the one who had slain the wicked Dragon we cannot name.

Now, next to the shore of the Dragon's blood lake, there was a small chest. The mysterious beautiful woman instinctively opened the chest, and inside it were two silver chalices. It was that moment we both understood we were to drink from the lake. The woman and I spoke no words, for also our hearts knew that any words at all from us could awaken the wicked Dragon that had been slain, and now lie somewhere near us beneath the mountain...somewhere in the darkness beyond our vision. And so we removed the silver chalices gently--and silently--and dipped them into the lake and filled them only half-way. And then we held our chalices high--as a silent toast--but also to carry our prayers for rebirth higher and higher until they might reach the One, and that the One might have mercy upon us. And our bodies became light, and our eyes became heavy...and we smiled knowingly at one another once more, and lie down next to one another upon the cold and damp rocks. And we fell into slumber. And finally died. Hand in hand. We felt each other's final heartbeats as life left us--and it was a beautiful and comforting thing to feel. No pain or fear at all. Only Love.

And, of course, you know we woke again, since I am here to tell you this story, dear Caesar, if you are still awake, lol!

Dear Caesar lifted his massive head immediately, and exclaimed, "Of course I'm awake, dear Kev! How could one sleep during THAT story?! Simply and truly lovely, Mr. Kev. But now I cannot help but ask, whatever became of that mysterious beautiful woman? Did you two part ways? Did you ever see her again?"

And so I concluded my tale for dear Caesar Emeritus, and gave him more head and ear scratches...

Well, of course, we had no idea how long we lie dead beneath Mt. Nol, next to the lake of Dragon's blood. It might have been just moments, or it might have been ages. But born again we were, and it was a happy and seemingly effortless climb back up the stained glass stairway. The wicked spirits paid us no mind at all...they felt completely defeated--they had not even the strength to hiss angrily at us as we ascended. The beautiful mysterious woman, and my companion in death, and I, untied our hands, hugged one another, and parted ways shortly after we left the foothills of Mt. Sol. Never to see one another again, we believed. But Fate is a funny thing, and we would eventually find one another again--albeit in a much different form and circumstance. You, my dear Caesar, know this beautiful woman too! But you and I now know her as Madeleine, the albino Peacock (Peahen), my beautiful gatekeeper! How's that for the end of a fabulous tale, my lovely Emeritus?!

Dear Caesar Emeritus was so elated to have heard this tale for him, that I do believe he nearly purred as I scratched his massive head and ears once again. "Truly lovely, Kev. Dear Kev. Thank you."

Before dear Caesar and I fell asleep upon the Love Seat, I showed him the magical looking ring upon the middle finger of my right hand. "See, this, my dear Emeritus?" I asked. And I answered, "I saved a bit of the Dragon's blood lake so that I would never forget the time I died and was reborn. We used to have a jewelry maker here in the beloved Xanadu Forest named Bannu, a lovely Bird of Paradise from Ulibam...I had him make the Dragon's blood into a gem--the one upon this ring. Madeleine has no memory of these events, because she did not take any of the Dragon's blood with her. So she only knows of herself as an albino Peacock (Peahen). Until now, of course, lol!!!"

Madeleine wasted no time at all in replying from the GARCOM intercom, "So so lovely, Mr. Kev. Thank you for letting me hear. Fate is indeed a funny and beautiful thing! You two have a most lovely nap! I love you!"

"I love you too, beautiful gatekeeper, and thank you for listening," I semi-shouted in the direction of the
GARCOM. Then dear Caesar Emeritus and I fell into the loveliest of lovely slumbers upon the Love Seat in the midst of the Library Tree, in the midst of our beloved and blessed Xanadu Forest.

Life is beautiful beautiful
So gratefully grateful.
Thank you, dear lovelies, for joining me on this journey.
I love you.
XX

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Chapter 44: A Knew House Band & A Hidden Trilogy: Enter The Comnandrai

Chapter 43: Gatekeepers' First Gatekeeping: Reigna Rellena & The Poetic Waxwings

Chapter 42: Sweet Mama Bbaesh & The Age Of Knew Application

Chapter 41b: Shelellabee, Rhianka, And The Wayward Son: A Sacred Pub Soliloquy Part II

Chapter 41a: Shelelabee, Rhianka, And The Wayward Son: A Sacred Pub Soliloquy Part I

Chapter 40: What's In A Name?: A Stellers Jay's Tale

Chapter 39: Another Return To Olympus

Chapter 38b: Heartshine and Hi Jinks Part II

Chapter 38a: Heartshine & High Jinks Part I

Chapter 37: A Day Of Leisure & A Tale For Dear Caesar

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